Alchemical Reactions
by Mystic Piss
Summary: When a girl from a rich school witnesses the result of a violent crime, a bodyguard is requested by both the police and the headmaster of her school to keep her safe. Unfortunately, information form Amestris is limited and despite the bodyguard being a relative of the Suohs, nobody really knows the boys who've been brought in to protect the students. Rated T for words.
1. Golden Guardians

This takes place after both animes, Brotherhood verse.

* * *

 **Golden Guardians**

* * *

"Who _are_ they?"  
"New hosts?  
"Boy do I hope so, look at them!"  
"I've never seen that eye color before!"  
" _I've_ never seen a man with hair that long."  
"Do you think he's straight?"  
"I want to request them so bad!"  
"What dye do you think they use for their hair?"  
"I don't know, but it's _gorgeous_."

A barely audible whine drifted out of one of the two blonde boys as he turned his head to peek over his shoulder at the poorly concealed crowd whispering a few feet behind them. The bookshelves the mob was hiding behind doing nothing to conceal the constant shrieks and whispers from the group.  
The small loveseat the men were situated on was located in a far corner of music Room #3, obscured for the most part with large rustic bookcases, displays, and fancy plants meant to evoke a research library. A slightly louder screech of "Oh my god one of them is looking this way!" sent his head snapping forward to look across the low coffee table to three women who kept glancing their way every now and again while speaking to a brown-haired boy who, thankfully, had been _trying_ to steer the conversation off the newcomers.

"So Haruhi, who _are_ they?" He heard one of the girls ask in a hushed tone, her eyes darting to them briefly before returning to the host before her, "Are they guests?"

He responded with a sigh, this was the third time she'd asked, might as quit dodging, "Ah- kindof? They're friends of mine, and they're waiting for my club duties to be over so we can go work on a….group project."

The girl's friend, a red-head with curls spoke up, "So they requested you then?"

The boy snorted, "More like they don't have anywhere else to be. They're not hosts if that's what you're wondering."

 _ **If**_ _that's what they're wondering_ , Edward scoffed, rolling his eyes as he heard collective sounds of disappointment ring out behind him, _You'd have to be deaf and blind to think they're wondering about anything_ _ **else**_ _._

Frowns adorned the three girls before them, and the one on the end of the couch, bleach blonde shoulder-length hair, looked to the floor and muttered a quiet, "Pity."

Slouching down on the loveseat, Edward bit back a groan, his golden hair straying from the neat ponytail in favor of riding up the back of the couch.

"This is stupid." Edward mumbled, glowering through his bangs.

Alphonse sighed, knowing full well this was coming sooner or later with how fidgety Ed had been since being introduced to the Host club's shenanigans that morning. " _Brother_ , you know she's actually in danger and we _are_ being paid for this."

"I'm not talking about the mission, I'm talking about the club- this is ridiculous, how the hell did Mustang rope us into this? I'm retired!"

" _You_ agreed to it, Ed." Hearing a grumble from his left, Alphonse continued, "You know full well why they called us in, they can't send anyone else."

"Yeah yeah, undercover whatever. Why didn't they just send you? Why do I need to be here? It's not like _I'll_ be of much use if this _is_ an alchemist we're after."

"Uh maybe because I'm not and never was with the military? This was a favor Mustang asked _you._ And I know you're just as curious about our 'cousin' as I am."

With a sneer Edward jerked his head towards the blonde in question, currently sandwiched between two girls on a couch, barely visible beyond the arrangement of potted ficus' to their left. Rolling his eyes and looking back to his brother he threw his hands toward the boy in question, "Are you kidding me?! That moron is too stupid to be related to either of us!"

"Who are you talking about?"

The intrusion of a new voice caused the siblings to jump in their seats, and Al shot his brother a look before fielding the question from one of the nameless girls on the couch, "No-one, Ed's just being an idiot."

Said boy scowled and said just loud enough for his brother to hear, "Yeah sure, _I'm_ the idiot here."

"Stop it, he's just excited." Al replied, matching his brother's volume, "Like you've never acted like an idiot when _you_ were excited."

"Don't you dare compare me to-" As if to make his case, Ed pointed back towards the King of the host club, leaving his brother leaning around him to take a peek, " _That._ " Spotting the man making a fuss over something trivial, throwing his arms up and pointing at something in his hands, Alphonse squinted to see exactly what the blonde was explaining so animatedly to the slowly-growing sea of women. The increasing volume of the commotion was beginning to attract a crowd, drawing the attention of the older brother as well as he peeked over the arm of the loveseat, equally curious as everyone else in the room.

The voices grew together to a point that they blended together and made it hard to distinguish exactly what was going on, "I'm sure there's a good explanation for whatever's going on over there…" Alphonse mumbled, losing interest in the argument in favor of curiosity.

A sudden screech coming from the spectacle they were watching drew their full attention as an argument seemed to break out among the girls and Tamaki stood up to full height, his face screwed up in determination, "Haruhi!" he barked, with an air of authority neither of the brothers expected after the display that morning, his reasoning for being president of the club apparently making an appearance.

They heard a brief, "Yeah?" from behind them, never taking their eyes off the scene.

"We require your assistance for a most urgent matter!" Al and Ed shared a look and made to stand up as Tamaki shouted again, putting the back of his hand to his forehead for emphasis. "This poor child has never had the exquisite fortune of **tasting** _ **instant coffee**_! She didn't even know what it _was_!"

Gone was the authority in his voice, replaced with some sort of anguish that left the boys falling ungracefully back onto the couch.

"All that drama for _instant coffee_?!" Edward hissed pushing himself back up on the seat, "What the _actual hell?_ " Turning to his brother with an irritated smirk, "Still think he's not an idiot, Al?"

They heard a sigh come from the host to their right, "Oh he's an idiot all right," pushing himself to his feet, he walked by mumbling and grumbling about instant coffee and rich people.

"Should we follow he- uh, him?"

"Probably. Stupid assignment."

The assignment was of course, a favor requested by Mustang. Negotiations on alliances with foreign countries had begun to open up after the Promised Day, and Japan was no exception. A girl had witnessed a criminal in the area leaving the scene of a murder, the Japanese police had suspected alchemy to have played a part due to the...odd circumstances the body was found in, and reached out to Amestris for aid, but they weren't given much more than that- leaving the brothers to think that the request for the Elrics had less to do with alchemy and more to do with this supposed cousin of theirs.

The girl's father had gone to the principal about extra protection during the school day for his daughter and the other students seeing as the police made it clear the criminal may target her and her friends. The head of the school then reached out to the Amestrian military about roughly the same time the police had, to request an alchemist be sent to the school to protect the students until said criminal was caught. Suoh, the principal, had said he'd recognized the name of the Fullmetal Alchemist in the papers and claimed to be a relative of his mother's. He also said that such a young soldier would blend in seamlessly with the student body and judging by the young man's accomplishments, should have no problem acting as a bodyguard until the murderer was apprehended. And so the request was placed alongside a sizeable donation to whichever branch of the military could coax the alchemist out of retirement, not that there was ever any other branch that was capable of doing that besides Mustang's.

Before either Elric could get up, a quiet voice drew their attention, "So what are your names?"  
Turning to look at the trio of girls still sitting on the couch ahead of them Ed rolled his eyes with a grunt and pushed himself up the rest of the way, "You wanna deal with this?"

"What?! Don't leave me here alone with them!" Al hissed.

Sparing his brother a quick glance and a shit-eating grin, Ed took off in the direction Haruhi had gone, "Shoulda got up faster then!"

" _Brother!_ "

With a pout, Al resigned himself to his fate with a sigh. Directing his attention back to the girls who simply stared back at him curiously, he tried to grin but it came out as more of a grimace, "Sorry about that, my brother's not really a people person…uh..." He stretched his hand out toward them, "I'm Alphonse, the shortie is my brother Edward."

They heard a muffled "I'm taller than you jackass!" from beyond the wall of ficus Ed had disappeared into causing Al to grin for real.

"By half an inch." He mock-whispered to the girls in front of him, "I really don't think it counts. Especially when I was taller than him for most of the time growing up."

ꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥ

"Can't believe I have to do this…" Edward mumbled as he made his way through the maze of furniture and guests, his hands in the pockets of the school's powder-blue uniform. "Better than being subjected to a million questions by nosy women but weaving my way through this mess of a room is ridiculous." His barely audible utterings went unnoticed, but his presence did not. The closer he got to the center of the crowd where the girl he was sent to protect and his cousin were chattering, the more and more people noticed his approach. "Stupid assignment." He continued grumbling as he got closer. "Stupid cousin. Stupid girls. Stupid rich people. Who the hell needs a 300,000 cenz school uniform or emerald encrusted pots for a ficus. I bet their teacups are lined with gold, what a waste of money."

He made to stop a little ways away from Tamaki and Haruhi who had been entertaining a small group of girls, explaining the intricacies of instant coffee and how it was different from what they were usually exposed to. Rolling his eyes he pulled out his pocket watch to check the time, "You've gotta be kidding me", he groaned, "There's 30 more minutes of _this_?"

"Did you say something?" Ed looked to his left at the girl who spoke, judging by her expression she heard what he said but was probably avoiding calling him out on it to avoid a scene. _Too late_ , he thought as he noticed most of the crowd's attention was now on him, including the two hosts.

"Ah, Edward! Come to try some of this instant coffee? You've heard of it, right?" Tamaki asked with a wide smile, pointing to the small tray of mugs on the end table behind them.

Ed squinted trying to make sense of the question, "Heard of it? I drink the stuff every day," He frowned, confusion clear on his face, "The hell kinda coffee are you used to?"

A fews gasps rung out alongside some murmurings in the crowd, as Edward walked forward and grabbed a mug- no cup. It was a tea cup, porcelain with-hold the phone. Edward held the cup away from him looking it up and down, the inside of it seemed to be an even coat of gold with decorative golden filigree in intricate patterns around the outside.

 _I fucking knew it_ , he thought as he took a sip from the cup.

Confused at his behaviour with the teacup, Tamaki busied himself with answering the other blonde's question, "Well, I typically import Hacienda la Esmeralda* from Panama for...I think it was roughly 53,000 yen?"

Almost immediately, Ed spit his coffee out, turning to look Tamaki in the eye, coffee dripping down his chin, "A CUP?!"

Tamaki shifted uncomfortably as Ed wiped his mouth on his sleeve, "No a pound."

"Like that's much better, what the _fuck_! Don't you people have anything better to waste your money on?"

The room had gone silent and Ed couldn't tell whether it was the possible (probable) insult against rich folk, or his language that left the room quiet, but as Tamaki was about to respond, he saw Alphonse approaching from the corner of his eye.

" _Brother!_ " Al scolded as he stood in front of his sibling, "I can't leave you alone for a second without you insulting someone, can I? Would it kill you to be polite for one minute?"

"Polite? Al are you joking? I've been nothing but cordial this whole day!"

"Congrats, Ed, you behaved for a whopping 24 hours. Bravo."

"Oh yuck it up, why don't you? You'd be just as appalled at the blatant waste of money this guy spends a week!"

Tamaki blinked, "How did you know I-"

Al sighed cutting him off, the quiet interruption completely unnoticed, "That's no excuse, brother. You said you'd be good while we were here!"

"Oh like this wasn't warranted!"

"Knowing _you_ , it wasn't."

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?"

The crowd that gathered now consisted of the other hosts as well, watching the scene as intently as the crowd of guests, Kyoya making notes in his journal as the two brothers bickered, clearly picking up some useful information from the interaction.

"I don't see what the problem is." Hikaru interrupted, his brother picking up when the three blondes turned in their direction, "Yeah, 53,000 is nothing. We easily spend twice that much for our coffee."

Al yelped, "53 thousand?!" Calculating with his fingers, he continued muttering just loud enough for their audience to hear, "That's almost 8 thousand a day, 2 and a half million a year…twice as much...5 million a year…"

"I told you it was a waste of money, Al! These people are nuts!"

Al groaned, hearing his brother arguing with both Tamaki and the twins on the outrageous spenditure. On one hand he wanted to scold his brother for being rude, but on the other….even the most expensive automail in Amestris didn't cost that much…

He looked over to Haruhi for help, only to see her face slightly pale as she watched the exchange, judging by the background they were given of her, she wasn't expecting that price tag, either.

The excuse of a lifetime came in the form of the school bell, signalling the end of club period, and conveniently silencing the argument.

Al patted his sibling on the shoulder to get his attention,"Oh look at that brother, the club's over."

Throwing his arms in the air, Ed turned to his brother and all but shouted, "Finally!" Before looking behind him, "Can we get going Haruhi? I want to get this project done sooner than later."

Haruhi nodded, "Yeah, okay, just let me grab my stuff and we can go."

"Okay!" Al nodded, pushing his brother toward the door, "We'll meet you outside the room. I don't trust Ed not to make another scene."

"Hey!"

ꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥ

As the Host Club was rearranging the room and cleaning up for the day, Haruhi having already left with the Elrics, the twins approached Tamaki- successfully cornering him with his schoolbag by one of the windows.

"Hey boss…" Hikaru started, drawing his attention, "Are you sure you trust them with Haruhi?"

The blonde looked confused, "What do you mean? They're my cousins and her bodyguards, I get that they're a little odd being of the working class, but why shouldn't we trust them?"

Hikaru rolled his eyes, _seriously?_ "Well, neither of them are particularly bad-looking, you know?"

Kaoru looked to his brother, crossing his arms in thought, "They're also more relatable to her than any of us, did you see how they reacted to our coffee prices? Almost the spitting image of Haruhi and the vase."

Turning his full attention to his twin, Hikaru frowned, "You think they'll try to court her? The loud-mouthed one was following her around a lot."

Spluttering for a second, Tamaki shook his head, "Because that's what we hired him for! He's a _bodyguard_!"

"Well he _is_ a guy, boss. And the girls were _all_ over him, though he only seemed to have eyes for Haruhi."

Throwing his arms up in the air, Tamaki nearly dropped his bag, "Because he's _supposed_ to be watching her-"

"And he is _your_ cousin." Kaoru pointed out, Hikaru picking up where he left off.

" _And_ they'll be spending more time with her than even _we_ do since they'll be staying in her apartment and all."

"Maybe even her _room_."

" _Who_ _knows_ what could happen."

The twins internally smirked as Tamaki blanched. Sure, they _were_ actually worried about Haruhi and these so-called 'bodyguards' but that didn't mean they couldn't have fun with it, and Tamaki, having accepted the arrangement at face-value, hadn't kept a close eye on what exactly the trio in question were doing during club period. Truthfully, that surprised the entire club, Tamaki hadn't been the least bit suspicious once he was told they were relatives. He simply accepted them with open arms, and the fact that they were sent to protect Haruhi only seemed to be icing on the cake.

Tamaki's mind running a mile a minute, he tried to think of a defense for the Elrics, but not much was coming to the forefront of his mind. "I- they wouldn't!"

"How do you know that? Isn't this the first time you've met?" The Prince of the Host Club was silent the second those words were spoken. That was most definitely true, Tamaki had never met the Elrics before today, and though they seemed like good people, the truth of the matter was he'd only known them for less than 24 hours. He didn't actually know who they were as people. They were bodyguards, who knows who they've guarded before. They could be assassins...or murderers! He _could_ be related to people like that! He really didn't know much of his extended family, but his father spoke so kindly about his Aunt he couldn't imagine-...  
What if they _did_ try to court Haruhi? What if they _both_ tried to court her? At the same time! Like...like some freaky Hikaru-Kaoru twincest type-deal? What if they fought over her- they're bodyguards! What if Haruhi got hurt in the fight for her love? What if they _killed_ the competition? Or worse- Haruhi!

This train of thought made Tamaki break out into a nervous sweat. He really didn't know them, and his overactive imagination began reaching to the furthest corners of his mind to pull in worse and worse scenarios and whatever justification it could think of. They _were_ from Amestris. A country that little was known about save for their military state and ability to hold its borders against any who'd dared attack them. And they weren't just people from there, they were military-issued bodyguards! What kind of a person could a country like that produce? Murderers! Probably killers! What if Haruhi was a target instead of their charge! What if they were _involved_ with the crime Haruhi witnessed! What if-

"I don't think they would do something like that, though the long-haired one was kinda mean." Hunny spoke, breaking the silence and saving the taller blonde from his self-induced nightmare.

Tamaki looked to Hunny feeling slightly -only slightly- relieved, by the statement.

"They didn't seem too interested in the prospect of becoming hosts, either." Kyoya nodded, drawing Tamaki's attention from Hunny, "Though I agree with the twins. Tamaki, are you sure you should really leave her alone with strange men from a foreign military considering her views on gender? Remember what happened the last time."

"I forgot they were military!" Kaoru all but shouted, slapping a hand to his forehead.

"Oh man what if she can't fight back?"

"What if they threaten her? The one did seem kinda brutish!"

Kyoya took this opportunity to interrupt the twins speculation and cut off some of the nastier ideas, much to Tamaki's relief, "Amestris is very far behind technologically, but from what I can dig up on the internet, either from Amestrian papers, or rumors, the Fullmetal Alchemist seems pretty accomplished."

"...The what?" Both twins and Tamaki huddled around the portable computer Kyoya presented as he set it down on an end table. The laptop screen was covered with candid photos and scanned newspaper articles overlapping one another- one of which that was noticably dated in the 1900s.

"The Fullmetal Alchemist, it's Edward Elric's military title." Kyoya informed as the rest of the hosts clicked through image after image of photos that were unmistakenly Ed. "Why that's his title I'm not sure. Most of their files are paper trails and nothing I can get my hands on. He seems to have a pretty good reputation as the "Alchemist of the People" in his home country, though one of their articles says he was last sighted a few years ago. There are a few death hoaxes floating around because of it."

"So what you're saying is," Hikaru began skeptically, "He's a good guy?"

Kyoya shrugged, "That's what it appears, but taking a journalist's word as fact is a foolish move."

"So...what, we're back to square one?" Kaoru frowned, in the end if they couldn't believe the only articles on this guy, they really had no information besides what they started with. "We still don't know if these guys are a danger to Haruhi or not."

"Well he's clearly danger _ous,_ " Hikaru snapped, "Nobody can just accomplish the stuff in these articles without being able to hold his own in a fight. There's got to be at least a grain of truth to these."

Kaoru quirked an eyebrow, "'Youngest Amestrian soldier at age 12, single-handedly removes vicious train-jacker group, saving esteemed General Hakuro.' What part of that do you think was embellished?"

"Who's to say," Kyoya shrugged, "That article looks to be a translated scan from an Amestrian paper. Though I think it's safe to say his age is probably accurate. He seems rather young, no older than any of us, and his standing in the military suggests he's been in it for longer than a year." _How_ he got into the military that young, and why, were another matter entirely.

Hikaru frowned and shook is head, "Yikes, if this is what he was doing at 12, I'd hate to see what he can do now."

"Bodyguard."

"Takashi's right!" Hunny exclaimed, as he climbed up to perch on his cousin's shoulder, "He'd be no use as a bodyguard if he can't fight!"

"Somehow, I don't think we have to worry about his credentials." Kyoya supplied, turning to look at Hikaru as he stepped forward to speak,

"What about his brother? If Ed's the bodyguard why the heck is _he_ here?"

Tamaki was about to pipe up that Edward was not his only relative, and he had wanted to meet the both of them, as did his father, but Kyoya beat him to the punch.

"I've seen Alphonse mentioned very briefly, but he shows up captioned in quite a few pictures." With that, Kyoya threw a handful of images to the table, removing the laptop to make room. The photos were varied in quality and type, some blurry, others from behind, only one is of a military procession in uniform where Ed clearly looks much younger, the same one from the online article from a Japanese tabloid. In each one he is accompanied by a large suit of armor, captioned simply as "his brother" or "Alphonse Elric".

Kaoru picked up a photo that was taken from behind, Ed on the left, the armor on the right. Ed's arms were out to his sides gesturing as he spoke to his brother, who he was looking up at, with a good 4 foot difference between them. "Wait, that scrawny kid is the same one wearing this armor?"

Hikaru ripped the photo out of his twin's hand to get a closer look, "Look at the size of that thing, it has to be like 9 feet tall! There's _no_ way! How would he even move in something like that?"

Tamaki by this point, had calmed down enough and returned to his rational mind at the mention of the Elrics being heroes. Surely his father wouldn't have requested them if they were dangerous. They weren't just here for Haruhi, though she was their main concern, they were here for the entire student body. So it would make sense that Ed wouldn't come alone, but...well there's no way his father would endanger the children of important clients and innocent students! If he were going to do that he wouldn't have asked for protection in the first place!

"Now just hold on a minute, you're all assuming the worst!" Tamaki began, they were his family and he did want to get to know them afterall. Clearly they couldn't be bad or they wouldn't be here, though the host club had raised more doubts than he cared to admit. "They're family, and by the sounds of it at least one of them is a hero, we should give them the benefit of the doubt-"

"Like your grandmother?"

The room went quiet, and Tamaki froze. After the incident with Eclair and Tamaki being blackmailed by the woman, the topic of his paternal grandmother didn't come up often and was usually avoided unless brought up by Tamaki himself. "Sorry." Hikaru swallowed, "I-I went to far with that, boss…"

With a sigh Tamaki seemed to thaw, "No...no, you're right. As much as I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, I shouldn't… My grandmother is a good example of how...unpredictable.. family can be. We don't know them…." There was a quiet pause, and Tamaki's eyes blazed with determination when he finally spoke again, "And as such, I have made a decision!"

"In order to investigate Haruhi's bodyguards and determine her safety, I propose a surprise sleepover! Men, get ready! We'll head over at 7!"

* * *

 **AN's**

ꭥ-Alchemical symbol for death. I wanted life and death with an infinity sign between them but apparently if it's not involved in greek lettering it doesnt exist in computer codes. Life is the same symbol but the broken part of the circle is facing up. They sometimes have necks, I think its supposed to but hey, this is as close as I can get with this.

*I googled the most expensive coffees in the world and grabbed one of the fancier sounding ones, said it was 500$ a pound which according to google is 53,187.50 yen

Since yen and cenz are presumably the same thing, I'm letting them be equal for this fic, makes things easier. For reference, 300,000 yen=$3,000, the price of an Ouran Academy uniform. I'm not rich, I don't know how much things cost in that end of the world- I can hardly justify spending more than $35 on a t-shirt; but ive seen plain white dresses running $1000 on certain websites, so here's hoping the coffee price is believable.

Anyway, was supposed to be a two-shot but seems there will be more. Oops.

Let me know if the summary is any good. I wasn't sure if I went to vague with it, but who really knows where this is going. Beyond the second chapter, I sure don't!


	2. The Role of Bodyguard

**The Role of Bodyguard**

* * *

"So _you're_ the Elric brothers, huh?"

Edward quirked an eyebrow as the tall redhead looked the siblings up and down. Getting irritated at the man's suspicion, he decided to mimic the older man- earning himself a discreet elbow in the side from his little brother.

Haruhi's father had met the two siblings at the door, blocking their path to the interior of the apartment in favor of sizing up the blondes. Some of the other residents were equally interested, peeking out the windows or watching from their balconies as the duo were led to the door, curious if these were more of their neighbor's rich handsome boys from her prestigious school. Haruhi, more than a little used to the behaviour had disappeared into the apartment shortly after their arrival.

The tough scrutinizing performed by the older man began to irritate Ed, the redhead clearly radiated uncertainty- not that either Elric would make their client aware of that fact, afterall, Ed was no longer the 12 year old with impulse control problems, and Alphonse was more than used to not making a scene. "I'm Ranka," The older man finally said as he smiled, though the suspicion was still clearly read. "Haruhi's father."

Edward nodded, giving the man a firm handshake, "Ed Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist. This is my brother, Alphonse."

"It's nice to meet you, sir." Al said with a bow.

"Likewise! I must say, it's truly an honor to have a state alchemist staying with us," He moved aside to let the boys pass, but not before looking them both directly in the eyes. He held out his hand and pointed to a corner of the room just beyond the door, "You can set your bags in that corner until we get things settled after dinner."

Taking a look around the small apartment, which consisted of a decent sized living room with a handful of doors leading to what was assumed to be other rooms, it was pretty obvious this wasn't a _large_ apartment despite the decent amount of space. The two conjoining rooms were likely bedrooms, and the room they were currently in seemed to house the kitchen as well, though it wasn't a stretch to assume the room also doubled as the living _and_ dining room. Many apartments the brothers had shared were similarly short on space or only consisted of the kitchen and restroom.

Setting his bags down where he was directed to, Ed turned to Ranka, "Are you sure you don't want us staying next door or something? Apartments kinda small…" earning himself not only a frown, but a much harder elbow to the ribs, "Ow!" He whisper shouted, sending Al a dirty look and a few choice words.

Ranka seemed to pay no attention to the scuffle as he walked across the room and stood near the sliding doors directly opposite the entryway. "Nonsense! It's much safer for Haruhi if you're in the same apartment. Just don't try anything! I expect things to stay professional!"

"Stay...professional..?" At this, the golden haired boy was thoroughly confused. He was never _not_ profe-...okay he was never _usually_ professional in _any_ sense of the word. Even when he was on his best behaviour things were usually too urgent to follow protocol-though that didn't mean he _couldn't_ be! Of course how would a total stranger know that? It's not like Mustang spoke to the client directly or anything…or he _shouldn't_ have anyway...

Thanks to all the comments and murmurs from the Host Club's customers earlier that evening it didn't take long before another thought popped into the alchemist's head. His eyes widening as things clicked, causing an immediate shift in his demeanor as he scrunched his face up into a nasty scowl, "Hey-wait a minute, who do you take us for?! I have a _fiance_ I'll have you know!"

Al's head whipped to his left to look his brother in the eye, "You _what_! Brother when did this happen? And why didn't you say anything?! When did you ask her? It _is_ Winry, right?"

Accusation momentarily forgotten, Ed rolled his eyes at his brother's whining, " _Of course_ it's Winry, Al! Who _else_ would it be!? And I thought I _did_ tell you!"

Al looked momentarily conflicted which was quickly replaced with a scowl of his own. Before he could berate or question his brother, however, their host cleared his throat, a small smile gracing his face as both brothers turned to look at him, "As reassuring as that is," Ranka began, turning to Alphonse, "That goes for the _both_ of you."

"Uh, you don't need to worry about me, sir. _I'm_ always professional." Giving his brother a pointed look to let him know that this conversation was not over and _he owed him_ _ **details**_! Ed frowned, but once again their host spoke up before anything could be communicated between the brothers.

"Right! Well, this is a two-bedroom apartment so i'll have to ask you boys to stay in this room," Ranka motioned the brothers to follow as he opened the doors he'd previously been standing in front of, "We can move the table out of the way later, the other room has a draft. Hope you don't mind the floor!"

Edward shrugged, glancing around the new room and spotting the large television in the corner. "Not at all, beats a bench."

"Besides, we brought enough clothing for sleeping bags." Alphonse said with a smile.

"...you're going to sleep on your clothes? We _have_ blankets you can use! Oh, don't tell me you're like Haruhi's _other_ friends."

"What?" Ed asked, ignoring the comment on Haruhi's friends and whatever implied insult was hidden in there, " _Ooh._ No, we're alchemists, we can alchemically alter the fabric of the clothes we brought into sleeping bags and fix them when we need them. Not the prettiest thing, but it works."

"Nonsense! You don't need to do that, you're guests! More than that you're _guards,_ here to keep my little Haruhi safe! Whatever we can provide you with, we will!"

Alphonse threw his arms up with a smile, "We wouldn't want to inconvenience you, Mr. Ranka."

"Nonsense! It's no trouble at all. I just want my little girl _safe_ , it's a fair trade in my eyes!"

Ed snorted _, Equivalent Exchange, huh? Must be a foreign concept only to the rich…_ Suddenly exactly which friends Ranka had been referring to made sense, and the elder brother shrugged, "Alright, if you're sure."

They chattered and discussed the protection orders until dinner time, Haruhi having finished her homework, made a stew pot for the night while the boys chattered. Ranka explaining his job and the hours it entails, the Elrics explaining why they had been chosen for the job.

"I've heard so much about you!" Ranka smiled, more relaxed by this point in the night, "You've made the papers over here, you know!"

The stew spoon stopped halfway to Ed's mouth as he looked to his brother, "Have I really?"

Alphonse returned the astonished look, putting his spoon back in his bowl while his brother resumed eating, "That's surprising, as far as we knew Amestrian politics were still pretty hush-hush."

"Well it's nothing _actually_ political, but some journalist I guess went to get some information about Amestris _from_ Amestris thanks to the treaty being arranged." Haruhi shrugged, leaning back and pulling a newspaper out from beneath the television to hand to her guards. "It's all right here."

Taking the folded paper, Ed unfurled it and was immediately graced with a photo of himself in one of the very few times they'd managed to get him into the mandatory uniform. His brother, still trapped in their father's armor, towering behind him, "Small town military boy, breaks record as youngest to ever join." Ed began, reading aloud so Al could keep up, "Sources say he's a true hero. Embellishment. Saved my life. Blah, blah- Exposed a cult leader that had tried to brainwash us all. Youswell…"

Alphonse snorted and pulled a corner of the paper closer to him, "If there's one soldier you can trust, its that Elric boy!" A grin spread across his face, but Ed couldn't tell if it was because his brother was proud of their achievements or if he was planning on referencing this at some point.

Ranka smiled, "Seems you've got quite the reputation."

Shaking his head, Ed rolled his eyes, "Ya'know it's funny, my picture's printed right here in the paper, but not a single person recognized me- and half the military _still_ gives me grief about stealing my ID."

"Yeah well, it took me a while to realize that I was friends with the principal's son. A lot of the people here are less observant than I-" Haruhi stopped speaking as an audible knock found its way to the dining room, creating a very palpable tension in the air.

The knock sounded again, casual knock, not urgent or rushed, but forceful and meant to be heard. The Elrics looked first to Haruhi who seemed to be holding her breath, and then to Ranka who caught their eyes and ever so slightly shook his head, "We weren't- we weren't expecting any company."

At this, Ed nodded and quietly grabbed a large vegetable knife from the table as Al tapped Haruhi's shoulder to grab her attention, "Shhhh….I want you to try and calm down, steady your voice and ask who it is, okay? Just loud enough for them to hear you. We'll take care of the rest." At Haruhi's non-response, Al tried a little harder. Looking to his brother briefly who was peeking through the sliding door to scout out the entry room. Returning his attention to the frightened girl next to him, Alphonse put a comforting hand on her shoulder and flashed a gentle smile, "Haruhi. What if it's a classmate? We don't want to get worked up over nothing, right?"

As sense started to seep in, Haruhi's looked up at Al, her breathing steadying ever so slightly. The Elrics, both having been keeping an eye on her since the first knock had sounded, could tell that even though she was clearly shaken over this whole thing, she was much better at hiding it than her father or her friends. The fact that she immediately jumped to the conclusion that there could be an enemy at the door meant this was probably weighing on her mind all day, not that either brother had any sort of inkling that she had been so worried.

As Alphonse prepared to say something else, Haruhi gave a stiff nod and cleared her throat. "Who," She croaked, throat dry. Taking a sip of water she tried again. "Who is it?"

The call was loud enough, but it was returned by silence...and then another knock, this one more frantic.

The Elrics shared a look, and both deciding that they would wait no longer, took action. Slinking out into the other room, Ed brandished the large knife, cutting the lights as he reached the switch and keeping along the walls and out of sight of the windows. Alphonse on the otherhand, turned the lights off in the dining room and shut the door behind his brother, kneeling by the door and silently pulling everything off the table in order to use it as a barrier.

Now that the lights were completely out in the apartment, Edward could visibly see a few silhouettes through the curtains, one of which that seemed to be trying to see inside. Quickly cutting to the front door, he could hear muffled voices, whatever they were talking about they were keeping their voices low and Ed prepared himself for a fight. He couldn't help the brief thought that crossed his mind about how much easier it would be were he able to alchemize them all through the cement, but at least he was well versed in ambushes at this point. Settling himself between the doorknob and counter, he stealthily unlocked the door and waited on the balls of his feet, ready to pounce.

The voices seemed to be getting agitated, but not angry. Soon enough they stopped completely, and the unluckiest of the group knocked again.

The uninvited guest only managed to knock once.

Ed heard the first rap on the door and quickly flew into action, throwing the door open and grabbing the still outstretched arm, bending it backwards quickly and forcefully- earning a loud cry muffled by the sound of his blood pumping past his eardrums. In the same fluid moment, he swept the legs out from two of the closest figures and slammed the first man into the railing, keeping hold of the still twisted wrist, and holding the vegetable knife outstretched at the two left standing, ready to push the first person over the rails and take out the last two.

And that was the point he realized there were actually _three_ people remaining standing. And that these three were eerily familiar.

The stillness was thick, nobody dared move, and the only sound was the coughing done by the light blonde who'd been slammed chest first into the metal handrail opposite the door.

Ed sighed, lowering the knife and momentarily stashing the knife through one of the belt loops in his pants as he hauled Tamaki back to his feet, all but throwing him through the doorway before steeping back and glancing at the rest of the group, "Well? Get in."

"A-are you sure..?" Honey whimpered quietly, though his body language betrays his whine, clearly wary after that very quick display of force.

Edward scowls, keeping his eyes on their surroundings and watching the alleyways visible from the balcony. "Did I stutter? Get in the apartment before an _actual_ threat shows up. Every second this door is open is a chance someone can take at your friend's life."

At that, the host club wasted no time piling in the front door, the twins stumbling over one another as they scrambled to their feet.

Taking one last glance around the terrace, Ed shut the door quietly, locking it behind him and shouted, "Coast is clear, Al! You can turn on the lights!"

"Who was it?" Al shouted from the other room as the lights in the dining room turned on.

"The idiot club, who else?" Ed shouted, carefully maneuvering his way through the small area dimly illuminated through the sliding door. "I think I may have broken something on Tamaki, slammed him pretty hard into the railing."

"Ed!" Al scolded from the other room, the sounds of the table being righted permeating the thin door, Ed could almost see the frown on his brother's face, "Be nice, what would Winry say?"

Flipping the switch to the living room overhead lamp, Edward scoffed, "That the idiot _brigade_ sounds better."

Sliding the door open, Al rolled his eyes and walked over to Tamaki to asses his injuries. Haruhi close behind, "What are you guys _doing_ here?"

Tamaki swallowed nervously as Alphonse rubbed a hand across his chest, feeling and pushing each rib individually before moving onto the limp and very _red_ right arm, "We-" Tamaki winced, "We wanted to come check up on you, we were worried."

Haruhi had wanted to berate her senpai for just barging in again, but one look at his arm and she figured he learned his lesson this time. "You should've called, you know."

Al smiled up at the brunette, "I'm sure he realizes that now." Gently setting Tamaki's arm at his side, Al turned to the doorway and shouted to his brother, "Ed! Nothing's broken, but you did dislocate his arm! You're gonna have to hold him down so I can put it back into place!"

The apartment was silent before a loud groan made it's way from the table, "Aaaaaal! I just sat down, can't it wait til after dinner?"

Alphonse frowned and made sure his frown was _heard_ with a sharp "Brother!"

"Fine!" A quiet rustling was heard before Ed finally made his way back into the living room. Handing Al a dish cloth he frowned, "You know if my food is cold it's _your_ fault."  
"Oh shut it, I'll warm it up for you, you baby."  
The other hosts were quiet as they watched the brothers work, gently laying Tamaki down, Al explaining what the dishcloth was for before placing it in his mouth, and Edward grabbing both shoulders firmly but not with unnecessary force. Both brothers took up quietly bickering as they prepared to fix the injured boy's arm, "I can't believe you dislocated his arm." Al began lightheartedly. Afterall, he couldn't _actually_ berate his brother for doing his job. And a _good_ job at that. Were these actual intruders they'd have been at best- in too much pain to fight back, and at worst- crippled enough to give the elder Elric a slight advantage.

Ed shook his head with a slight grin knowing exactly what his brother was doing, "Hey, be lucky it wasn't broken. I _thought_ I broke it."

"You almost did."

"With good reason!"

"I'm honestly surprised you didn't."

"Oh, like you wouldn't have."

" _I_ would've transmuted him to the concrete."

"Well if _that_ were an option I would've transmuted them _through_ the concrete."

"Well why didn't you?"

"I didn't because I didn't! It's a good thing I didn't too or they'd _all_ be hurt."

"Knowing you, they wouldn't just be hurt."

"And what are you implying?"

"Ambulances. Many ambulances."

"And yet you complain about a not-broken bone."

 _Snap!_ A muffled scream was heard as the elbow joint was snapped into place, the conversation distracting everyone from what they were about to do. When it was clear Tamaki could move his arm alright, despite it being sore, Ed helped him to the dining room and poured him a bowl of stew.

"Sorry about your arm, there was no way of knowing who was at the door." Ed began once the guests were settled around the table. Ranka had grabbed more bowls and spoons from the living room-kitchen (Haruhi was _not_ going _that_ close to the door if he had anything to say about it!) and the host club began serving themselves what was left of the stew. "It was safer to just assume you were a threat and act accordingly than assume you weren't and potentially get ambushed."

Before Tamaki or any of the hosts could respond, Ranka clapped his hands together and all but squealed, "Oh that was excellent, Edward! You really _are_ worthy of your reputation! Alphonse, why'd you cut the lights?"

"Well it's darker outside than inside, so if anyone was going to peek through the window they could see everything with the lights on, including Ed sneaking up to the door."

Edward took a long slurp of his (alchemically warmed- thanks Al) stew as his little brother explained, setting the near empty bowl down, "Speaking of work; Haruhi- we still have to take your statement."

Lowering her spoon back to her soup bowl, Haruhi blinked, "I thought I already gave one to the police."

Ed shook his head, "Police statements are useless, they're supposed to write every single word, but they never do- so sometimes important information is left out."

"It's also much better to hear an account directly from the witness because they can give details subconsciously that they might not actually remember." Al continued with a smile, that turned into a savage grin as he looked to his brother, "Plus the chief of police is having a hard time taking Edward seriously 'cause of his age."

Ed choked on the last chunk of meat from his meal, coughing violently and grabbing for his glass of water, as his brother's grin widened and he continued, "He thinks Ed's a fake." As Ed finally swallowed the offending piece of meat and glared at his brother, Al burst out laughing.

"It's not funny, Al!"

"You're right, it's _hilarious_!"

"Considering how often this happens you think you'd have gotten it out of your system! Honestly, if it wasn't for this stupid treaty I'd have given him a _reason_ to think I'm who I said I was!"

Al chuckled, despite knowing he should probably cut this tirade off before it gets worse, "Brother, behave."

"You saw how he was treating me! He's lucky I didn't break his jaw- I certainly _wanted_ to with the crap he was insinuating."

"You could've called Mustang, he would've set things straight."

"And be indebted to him? No thanks, at least with this mission _he_ owes _me_ a favor and I don't intend to give that up just to convince some idiot that clearly can't do his job right."

"What do you mean, can't do his job right?" Ranka asked, "You're talking about the chief of police, yes?"

"Yeah, and we wouldn't have been called in if he was _competent_." Ignoring Al's -now, not amused- outburst of brother(!), Ed continued. "He hasn't given us _any_ useful information which is making things more difficult for us. We don't even know the state of the first victim's body from the information we were given, so I _highly_ doubt this was the work of an alchemist which is the _whole_ reason we're even _here_." Edward sighed, "It honestly sounds like you've just got some sicko running around that the police don't want to deal with, but who knows? They won't give us any _actual_ info."

Al sighed, "They suspect it's an alchemist or _we_ wouldn't be here."

"Yeah, and there's plenty of evidence everywhere when an alchemist's involved, why is basic evidence classified to the people brought in to find the bastard?" Al snickered as he took a sip of his water, but his brother still caught the laugh and scowled, "Goddamnit Al, I told you it's _not funny_!"

Al put his hands up in surrender "I know I know."

"What if this guy _is_ an alchemist, you know as well as I do this tiny apartment won't stand a chance."

The smile finally left Alphonse's face, "If he _is_ an alchemist, this whole building likely wouldn't stand a chance."

Any questions that the group may have had for the Elrics died at that statement. The apartment went quiet and both brothers realized they'd gotten a little too caught up in the moment to register they'd just let information slip that they hadn't actually meant to.

The quietness only lasted a minute but it felt like much longer.

Ranka put a hand on his daughter's shoulder and gave it a squeeze, before finally breaking the silence, "Are they that dangerous?"

Quietly berating himself for having to answer the question to begin with, Edward frowned, _what the hell- may as well give them the rest_... "Amestris kept its borders closed since its founding for a _reason_. We were constantly at war because our government was corrupt." He shrugged, "A single skilled alchemist can take out an army." Ed paused, taking a slice of a cake that had found its way to the table since the host club arrived and taking a bite of it, talking as he chewed which earned a frown from Al, "I...met..? some State Alchemists that were responsible for the deaths of thousands during the war of extermination. So...yeah, they can be pretty dangerous, and we don't know this guy's specialty, _or_ any details on him. We're basically going in blind."

Swallowing, he realized everyone in the room was more nervous than before, and his brother was shooting him a nasty look, "Hey, hey, _relax_ ," Ed continued, setting his fork down on the small plate with a clink, "That's why we didn't turn this down. If it's just some run of the mill psycho he won't stand a chance, and if it's an alchemist- well, he still won't stand a chance. We're the best our country can offer."

Another pause ensued as the group digested what they were just told, Tamaki having zeroed in on something in Ed's explanation that sounded eerily like what the twins had insinuated earlier that night, "Are...you're not...one of _those_ state alchemists...are you?"

Ed, having returned to the cake, looked up at his cousin, "Hm? Uh, yeah, I'm a state alchemist, thats the whole reason we're he-"

Al sighed loudly, effectively cutting the elder Elric off, "Brother that's not what he meant. And no. Brother and I have never killed anyone."

A look of comprehension dawned on Ed's face, "Oh. Yeah, we plan to keep it that way too."

The silence stretched on, though the group seemed to relax a little bit. The calmest in the room seemed to be Ranka-reassured his little girl was _actually_ in good hands, despite the startling information about _who_ may be after his daughter- followed by Mori, Honey, Kyoya and finally Haruhi. Tamaki and the twins seemed thoroughly shaken and none were really making an attempt to hide it.

Al spoke up when he realized the silence was just going to continue to stretch as he poured what was left of his stew onto Ed's plate, the little bit of broth mixing with the cake's frosting, but knowing full well Ed would eat it regardless. "And the bad people are out of power now, we're making reparations to make it up to the marginalized groups that were targeted under the previous rule. So you don't have to worry about us being part of that whole fiasco." Ed snorted, but true to form, practically inhaled the few bites of meat and vegetables on his cake-plate.

Turning his attention to Haruhi, Al thought this was a good point to put the conversation back on track, "Sooo...yeah, we'll have to take a statement at some point tonight or tomorrow because your police chief doesn't want to leave things in the hands of children."

"I'M 19!" Ed roared, slamming his fists on the table- luckily having swallowed before his outburst, "There's _no_ reason for him to withhold information like that except to be a dick! I _have_ proper Identification!"

"For once", Ed scowled at his brother, but Al continued, "Yaknow brother, if you actually showed up in uniform, people would take you more seriously."

"Yeah, and blow the element of surprise? I don't think so." Pushing his now empty plate toward his brother, he continued, "It's stupid and ugly and if I didn't have to wear it when I was in the military I sure as hell ain't wearing it now!"

"Was?" For the first time since their arrival Kyoya had spoken up, his glasses glinting in the light and effectively cutting off the conversation.

Ed and Al both looked to the club's manager in confusion, speaking in tandem "What?"

"You said _was_ in the military. Odd manner of phrasing, if you ask me." Taking the opportunity, Kyoya pulled out his notepad and scribbled something down in it.

Al shot his brother a look, to which his brother thought for a moment before meeting Al's eye and shrugging, "Yeah, whatever, guess it really doesn't matter if they know or not. Technically, I'm retired, and Al's never _been_ with the military."

It was Haruhi who asked the next question, "If you're retired, why are you here?" Asked by anyone else the question likely would have been an accusation, however, Haruhi seemed genuinely curious, so Alphonse decided to keep the explanations rolling.

"That actually has a bit to do with our cousin." He began, smiling at Tamaki, "Brother and I had just gotten back from separate research trips a few months ago, so the timing was good. But Tamaki's dad recognized our last name and wanted to meet us so the fuhrer put in extra effort to contact us specifically."

Ed shrugged, "Which would've happened anyway, just going by the file we were given."

Al nodded, "So basically because we were the best suited, it's more of a favor than an order."

"Like that matters, Al. They knew we wouldn't turn it down the second they called us."

Ranka shot a look to both brothers, "And why is that?"

"Well, what would you do in our situation?" Ed asked returning Ranka's expression, before looking across the table, "There's too many wildcards floating around to leave Haruhi without protection just to find someone else qualified enough. This could be either a really dangerous situation, or it could be nothing, there's no evidence the suspect is even looking for her."

Alphonse continued, looking Ranka in the eye, "Wouldn't you rather err on the side of caution than find out later that you could've done something to prevent a disaster?"

At that, the father nearly had to stop himself from crying. They didn't need to be here, as dangerous as this could be. They were here just in case, as a precaution, _voluntarily_ and from what it sounds like with little evidence Haruhi was even _in_ danger. A tear or two trailed their way down his cheeks, "I have to thank you, I'm so grateful- you don't have to be here, what you're doing for us, for my little girl-"

Ed cut him off, raising a hand with a shake of his head, "Don't sweat it old man, it's what we do."

* * *

 **ANs**

Please let me know how I'm doing! I have more motivation to write the more reviews I get!

Also to the three people who've reviewed so far, I'm super glad you guys like my story thus far! Thank you very much for reviewing!

Also also sorry if these titles are butt. My b.


	3. Nightwatch

Alrighty this chapter was originally intended as a bonus chapter as thanks for all the reviews on ff and would only be posted here and not AO3, but I've been spending time working out the actual plot for this and now it's sortof a real chapter? AO3 will be a month or two behind.

* * *

 **Nightwatch**

* * *

The rest of the night consisted of taking Haruhi's statement and settling the extra guests into the small dining room while the Elrics divided up the watch times. More than once, Edward had wished he'd asked to bring Hayate along, that way both brothers could sleep through the night, but Ed certainly had no problems sleeping through classes, and he _definitely_ didn't care about sleeping through the host club's activities.

As such, Ed took the first nightwatch while Alphonse stayed with the group of teenagers wedged in the tiny dining room, and went to bed when they did.

The first night was odd, but uneventful. Even if there was an evil murdering alchemist out there targeting their charge, if he was worth his salt he'd at least scope things out first. Two new bodyguards on the scene, especially ones as unpredictable and recognizable as the Elrics were not to be tangled with quietly. And after the host club arrived, it'd be much harder to sneak in and be sure to get the correct target.

On the otherhand, striking before the bodyguards were aware of what was usual and unusual in a new environment was definitely a tactic, so Ed kept his eyes and ears peeled for...well just about anything that wasn't quiet. A mouse could fart and he'd investigate it.

As such, instead of delving into research or anything that could really distract him too thoroughly, he let his mind wander and thought about various things while he doodled transmutation arrays on a piece of scrap paper he'd found on the floor.

 _Man, there really is a draft in here._ He shivered as a particularly cold breeze found it's way through the crack in the front door. He frowned as he realized he was still in the stupid lavender suit jacket. The stupid _silk_ lavender suit jacket. He'd have to remember to change into his usual clothes the following night, they were much warmer.

The spot he was located was unfortunately, right across from the door crack. Not the best visibility out the window, but one of the quietest locations with a path to the that didn't have a chance of creaking floorboards.

For the 4th time since the group had gone to bed, someone had passed travelling left past the apartment, and for the 4th time since the group had gone to bed, Ed had trailed to the window to investigate. Peeking through the curtains-though not enough to disturb them- 3 out of the 4 times, the passing person had seemed to be different people, or at least different silhouettes. This time? Seemed to be one of the people he'd seen before.

Just like before the passerby had not looked in the window.  
However...nobody had travelled towards the apartment _right_ of Haruhi's. Nothing necessarily alarming, an observation easily missed, however without knowing exactly what they were looking for it was an observation to take into account and bring up to his brother in the morning.

Ed frowned, with his luck it definitely was something to be concerned with. Like _he'd_ ever get lucky enough for it to actually be some stupid kid and his friends sneaking out late at night. With a sigh, he stealthily returned to his seat and pulled out the journal he was dedicating to this case and began to jot down a description of this mystery person's silhouette underneath the other three he had previously recorded, circling numbers 2 and 4, before setting the booklet back in his pocket.

Time ticked by as the night dragged on and Ed found his mind wandering through topic after topic. Had they given too much away? Not like it mattered, most of Amestris' history would be out in the public eye sooner or later, and it didn't detriment either of them since they weren't on the evil murdering side of said history. Had they freaked everybody out? Most likely. Not that Ed really cared. As inconvenient as it was for the mystery murderer to attack Haruhi with the host club present, it was equally inconvenient for two people to protect a group of eight at once. Perhaps this would stop them from interfering in the future….or maybe it'd make it worse….

Again, knowing his luck it'd make things worse.

He frowned. A slight floorboard creak coming from the apartment to the right. No way he could _really_ investigate that, but- double checking the windows, the sleeping teens in the next room, and listening against the wall to the far right showed no signs of anything worrying and he returned to his seat once again. All seemed well, nothing out of place.

That was, until the upstairs neighbors decided to get a little _friendly_.

"Of course…" Ed grumbled, " _Just_ what I want to hear…"

Thankfully before any other sounds from above could grace his ears, the radiator from said apartment decided to kick in with a loud buzzing sound. A bit inconvenient for someone keeping guard, but music to the blonde's ears in the form of ambient noise. He'd have to take note of the time- 3:35am, for the next night. As welcome as the brief respite from the noise upstairs, this could prove adequate cover for any intruder. Edward made sure to note they may need to do some impromptu construction the next day.

With a sigh he got up and made his rounds. Kids- check. Door- check. Floor. Window. Fire escape in other room. Ranka's room. Check check check check.

Before he could stop himself he found his mind wandering to Resembool and the rounds he'd do at the Rockbells when he couldn't sleep. What was Winry doing right now? He snorted. Probably working on automail. He checked his pocketwatch as he reclaimed his seat, 4:05. Yeah, probably working on someone's automail or gutting some piece of machinery. What he learned over the two years* he and Al were home before their respective trips was that once she was sure they were fine she'd go back to her habit of being up all hours of the night tinkering with something until she fell asleep at the table. Most of the time she wasn't doing anything productive, just...tinkering to keep her mind off of worries. A habit remaining from when he and Al weren't home all the time he supposed….

He'd have to give her a call in the morning and let her know how the mission was going...or maybe afternoon would be better….for the both of them…

Another silhouette drew his attention- again to the left. A similar silhouette to passerby number 3, (long hair, small stature, bright sweater of some kind) and different from the matching people from before. Notes taken, numbers circled, seat taken. Odd coincidence to happen _twice_. Perhaps this is a group operation. How many of the people passing by the apartment were involved?

What was _Den_ doing? The medium dog would often patrol the Rockbell's house at night- almost obsessively. If he woke up to something outside, he'd let out a bark or two and if it was nothing to worry about, he'd go through the house and check on everybody in there, padding from room to room and quietly peeking his head in to stare. The click-clack of his nails on the wooden floor and the extra heavy clunk every 4th step as he'd go room to room, stop for a minute, then continue on. If someone was awake, more often than not he'd actually enter the room and settle down with them- which usually was Ed for one reason or another.

He'd grown strangely fond of the dog as of late, not that he hadn't been before but he certainly missed his near constant presence in the middle of the night when he'd gone west, and he was _definitely_ missing his company in the wee hours of the night now….

Is that why Al always wanted a pet? Companionship in the middle of the night when no one else was awake?

Ed sighed, _Well shit. Suppose that ship has mostly sailed._ Afterall, it seemed his brother slept better than he did most nights.

Maybe when this mission was over he'd get Al his cat. His birthday _would_ be coming up afterall, and it wasn't like they were travelling all over the place anymore. Would Den get along with a kitten? He never did get to see how the dog behaved around other animals, what with most of their childhood being away from Resembool, but he certainly remembered the time he chased 's cat a mile and a half upstream into a tree. Boy was _that_ cat a piece of work…

Maybe he and Al would have to build a house in their old property- make a proper home first...then he could get Al a cat. Just in case Den didn't get along with it...or in case _Ed_ didn't get along with it…

If his brother ended up with a cat like 's evil thing, he might have to let Den eat it.

Shaking his head to clear it of thoughts of _the Beast,_ as it was dubbed by the children of Resembool, Ed pulled out his pocketwatch. It was 5:15am, the teenagers would be getting up to get ready for classes soon and then they'd be off to school again. Stretching out his limbs, Ed squinted at the fresh sunlight that had begun to make its way over the other buildings in the area before moving his seat to a location where he wouldn't be illuminated were someone to peek through the window.

When his brother got up, maybe he'd go out for a run to the police station for more information on the case. Haruhi's statement had given them much more information than they'd expected and for the first time since they'd arrived in Japan, Ed actually thought there maaaay be a _slight_ chance an alchemist _was_ involved. She'd mentioned she really didn't get a good look at the crime scene or the criminal, but she did think that the body seemed to be cut up weirdly (to the point of not recognizing it was a body until she was later told by police). Something she did take account of however were were strange markings on the ground- that the blood seemed to pool into. Markings that sounded suspiciously like an alchemic array. All within a circle, strange letters she couldn't read. If it wasn't for the moonlight gleaming off the blood within the crevices, she never even would've noticed them.

She only got a glimpse of it though, so details were scarce. Her fight or flight response had kicked in and she bolted. She wasn't sure what happened to the figure she spotted, if they'd moved or fled or stayed still, so again- they weren't actually sure if this mystery criminal had gotten a good look at her or even intended to go after her.

Tipping the chair on it's back legs, Ed folded his arms behind his head as he thought about the circle itself.

It wasn't unheard of for alchemists to carve their arrays into the earth. Much more subtle in low-lighting, like the alley, however the downside to it would be it takes longer to set up. _Were_ this an array it'd mean this was premeditated in some manner, rather than alchemy being an after-thought. He and Al had both come to the conclusion that it was likely a trap.. _.if_ an alchemist was involved….

There was always the option that someone had tried to frame an alchemist or make a distasteful political statement given the treaty. Or the marks could simply be a piece of graffiti or artwork….or an obscure manhole cover…

However this was the most evidence they'd received that even hinted towards an alchemist being involved...and boy did Ed have _words_ for the chief of police.

Given the killer likely fled the scene instead of attacking Haruhi then and there- as evidenced by Haruhi getting away- it was safe to assume he doesn't want to be caught. If this were an alchemist, there would have been no problem taking care of any witnesses, and Ed didn't doubt a regular killer wouldn't manage either given the target was a spooked high school girl without fighting experience. Haruhi didn't call the police but instead ran to the police station, a block over, go figure, after her mind caught up with her and recognized there was something wrong with the way that scene smelled, of all things.

 _Understandable_ , Ed reasoned, _most people recognize the scent of death before they know what it is._ He knew quite a few forensic analysts who'd told him just that. Hell, he'd _lived_ that. One in particular- Vickers* had mentioned the scent is so unmistakably overwhelming, he and several others had thrown up or fled the room the first time they'd come face to face with a victim.

 _So... Haruhi ran at least a block to the station without getting attacked. The police investigated, and the killer was gone._ Closing his eyes, Ed gave a quick nod, folding his arms around his chest and re-levelling his chair on the floor. _Easy enough to reason that he would be wary about when and where he would attack were he interested in pursuing her. Likely not broad daylight in a large group as that would draw attention._ It was the middle of the night, dark, the crime scene was an isolated alley, that would have been a good time to attack her without causing a scene and drawing attention- but it wouldn't be smart if he didn't want to get caught...

So he's definitely a serial killer. He was calm and thought things through. If this were simply a couple of similar crimes or wrong place wrong time type of deal Haruhi would have never made it out of the alley. Those types of incidents the killer, consciously or not, wants to prevent witnesses, not necessarily physical evidence.

Serial Killers are smart. They leave a calling card without too much evidence. Barry mutilated the bodies, there was just enough evidence to tell it was the same person attacking those women, but not enough to pull DNA or any identifying evidence. Scar used a method the military hadn't seen up until that point. He relied mostly on catching his targets offguard and getting away before reinforcements could be called and he never left a trail.  
The biggest difference between the two was that Barry moved the victim before he'd attack and Scar just killed them where they stood.  
Both of them though, waited until their targets were alone. Isolated. Easy to corner.

So if he's going after Haruhi he wouldn't attack in a crowd, or anywhere that would draw attention; someplace isolated he could sneak her away..

 _Sneak her away_ …it...doesn't necessarily have to be an isolated location to kidnap her…

 _Afterall, Winry was held hostage by Kimblee simply through words alone, none of the other officers really suspected unless they knew what was going on..._

Ed unconsciously squinted his eyes as he thought, _School._..

School would be a good option to sneak her away... it'd be pretty simple to make her the next victim if he could get her alone due to the large number of bodies flooding the halls. Leading someone to a less isolated area in a crowded hall wouldn't necessarily be difficult depending on the methodology. _We don't know anything about the killer, he could be in the school, a woman, a student, or have an alias like Barry did._

Opening his journal Ed jotted down a few notes along with his thought process.

 _Easy solution_ , he added, _Haruhi couldn't be left alone. No exceptions_. One of the brothers would need to be with her at all times during the school day- and since Ed would be sleeping….that duty would fall to Al.

Meaning early morning before school, while both brothers were awake was the perfect time to run to the police station. The apartment _should_ be safe enough this morning. If the killer wanted to make a scene, he could've attacked Haruhi at any point after she left the alley and avoided all of this. To ensure he got the right target in the mob of people currently inhabiting the dwelling, drastic measures such as blowing up the apartment would be the logical step, but were out of the question as it'd not only start a manhunt, but it'd take effort to set up, meaning more chances to make mistakes…

Just to be sure, Ed made a mental note to double-check the perimeter for any arrays around the building on his way out, just in case it was linked to all the people passing the apartment in one direction throughout the night.

6am. Ed was wondering when the other teens were scheduled to wake up, and began thinking about what he was even going to do when he got home from this mission now that he had a plan. Of course there was the sheep festival and other local events, but other than that? He couldn't do alchemy anymore, he wasn't with the military anymore -and he really wasn't planning on doing too many favors _for_ them- everything he'd really done for as long as he could remember was over and done with. And anything he'd wanted to be as a child was either long forgotten or impossible at this point as much of it related to alchemy. He could always travel, but as he found out in Creta he didn't really care for travelling alone as he would still find himself worrying about his brother, and now Winry and Pinako since Al had gotten his body back, and he had nothing to take his mind off them.

Perhaps he'd take up a skill? It probably wouldn't hurt to pickup _some_ things about automail given his leg could no longer get a temporary fix with alchemy. Between the Rockbells and the Elrics, they owned a lot of land and lived in a farming community, maybe he'd do something along those lines and contribute to the town? He didn't really care for sheep though, maybe he'd just help out on a neighboring farm for a while and see where it leads. He didn't really _need_ to work, thanks to the funding he'd meticulously saved over the course of his military employ, but he should do _something_.

Taking out his journal he flipped it around in his hands and examined the bindings and cover. One of his better works, but..not fantastic. A few of the rungs tying the pages together were loose, it wasn't necessarily consistent the whole way through. Book-binding and leatherworking were a couple of the skills he dabbled in out west, he wasn't perfect, but he was fluent enough that he just needed practise. Maybe he'd _keep_ practising and sell hand-bound books or something. Winry could use books for her designs, Al could use books for his research, Pinako- her recipes, the local farmers always need ledgers to keep track of their profits. At the very least it'd be useful enough to help out those around him and he'd be a liar if he said he wasn't fond of a good nice leatherbound journ-

"AHH!" Two hands slammed down on Ed's shoulders as a voice yelled in his ear, earning a nearly identical shout echoed from the older Elric. Nearly dropping the journal in his hands, Ed spun around and hit his brother with it, "What the _fuck_ Al!"

Alphonse was laughing so hard he was doubling over and couldn't speak, earning another whack from the journal, "You're lucky I didn't break your nose! That wasn't funny!"

"Oh, oh please, brother!" Alphonse managed between breaths, "You wouldn't injure me!"

"Like hell I wouldn't, come here!"

* * *

 **ANs**

*Theyre 16 at the end of brotherhood I imagine they spent 2 years home (canon 1915-1917) and then 1 year travelling (to make it a nice and neat timeline.).

So a lot of sources say that Ed and Winry marry like, a few months later in 1917 and their kids exist 2 years after that? I can't find actual sources for these at all. I haven't read the manga so I've no clue if there's a proper timeline there for after the series' main events but whatever.

For the sake of this story to set Al at 18, and Ed at 19- the boys spent 2 years at Pinakos, Ed proposes on his way out for his trip, they spent roughly a year travelling, and then a couple months into their return Mustang calls them up about this mission. No idea at this point if they've planned anything wedding-wise. This story is supposed to be a crossover (and next chapter we'll see much more of the host club's antics), not a huge Edwin party bonanza lol.

I tried to make mention of a few incidents of like, PTSD or at the very least consequences of the traumatic shit they went through lol, hope that wasn't too subtle a mention..

**Vickers, continuing with Arakawa's naming convention, is from the Vickers F.B.5 Gunbus from WWI. Also idk if forensic scientists exist in FMA but I'd assume there's some form of it even if there aren't specific scientists seeing as Doctor Knox uses dental records to ID Ross.  
But for the sake of the story once the borders opened up Amestris' intel and technology has come a bit further into the modern age. As of right now since it's not super relevant, this happened while they boys were off travelling. Deals were being struck while they were at the Rockbell's probably around the second year mark.

So computers and the internet do not exist yet in Amestris, but huge chunky cell phones with dodgy service outside of military use might. And by golly if the forensic scientist position didn't before it certainly will now :0

 **Reviews**

Thank you all very much! Reviews help me want to write and let me know people are reading and following my work! Thank you all!


	4. Back to School

**Back to School**

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The trip to school was uneventful compared to that morning.

Awakened by a lot of noise, the Ouran students nearly freaked out thinking there was an attack only to find Alphonse in a headlock as the two brothers fought in the living room. The chair Ed had spent the night in collapsed on the floor.

Tamaki was impressed. His cousins were...well they were kinda scary, but they were good at what they did and it calmed his nerves considering all the speculation the twins had conjured about them concerning Haruhi. Edward seemed brash and rude...vulgar, but smart. A trait shared by the much more polite and friendly Alphonse who had spent the night with him and his friends, answering questions and playing commoner's card games with them...looking at him now, however…

The tall blonde's thoughts were cut off as Ed was slammed into the ground by his little brother, who'd swept his feet out from under him. Jumping slightly at the impact with the floor, the king (and the other hosts) watched his cousins go back and forth, entirely confused with what caused the fight. They seemed to get along so well despite Ed's crude demeanor...perhaps the elder brother crossed a line..?

"Don't you need to get ready for _school_?" Ed sneered as he crouched under a punch.

His little brother flipped over him and tacked Edward from behind, slamming him to the floor again, "Don't you need to stop being a dick?"

"You're the one that ambushed _me,_ you ass!" Ed struggled under his brother who'd pinned him pretty well, "Get off!" He shouted, struggling coming to a minimum, "I'd kick your ass if I'd gotten to sleep like you did, your highness!"

"You would not, you sore loser!"

At this Ed maturely stuck his tongue out at his brother and bucked him off.

"Whatever." Ed snorted with a small smile as he got to his feet, failing to brush off the wrinkles in the ouran suit jacket, "You seriously better get ready though."

Al rolled his eyes, as he mimicked his brother by brushing off his own scuffed suit, "You make it sound like you aren't going."

"I am, but I gotta check a few things before I get there. Mind giving me a hand with this thing?" Ed pulled at a tear in the right sleeve and Al nodded. The fight seemingly over with, the rest of the hosts dispersed to get ready themselves, none of them but Tamaki noticing the blue light that flashed briefly from the other room, or the mysterious journal pushed from the older to the younger sibling.

Deciding to ask about it later, Tamaki turned to grab his bag and noticed that he was wrong, Kyoya seemed to have noticed the quick exchange as well.

Soon enough the host club was dressed, fed, and ready to leave. Just enough time for a casual walk to the school. As they said their goodbye's to the patron of the household, Tamaki took the opportunity to tap his cousin on his shoulder.

Al, of course, smiled. "Did you need something Tamaki?"

"Uh, is Edward not coming with us? I don't see him."

"Oh! Ed's gonna meet us at the school, he wanted to stop by the police station before school starts."

Alarm bells went off in the blonde's head and he urgently asked, "Did something happen last night?"  
"No," Al replied with a shake of his head, "But given Haruhi's testimony we need more information, otherwise she can't leave mine or my brother's sight for even a second."

At this the twins shared a look before popping up on either side of the lone bodyguard, devilish grins visible.

"So….."

"What about when she has to change..?"

Al blinked, seemingly surprised, and responded before Tamaki's mind could even begin to run with the idea, "Uhhh….well we didn't really talk about that but…...I mean I wont peek or anything but I think, like if _I_ were going to kidnap someone that would be the best time to strike, you know? She'd be isolated." He started checking points off on his fingers, "But not too isolated to arouse suspicion because...well I'd imagine she'd be in the changing rooms for the host club, right?"

Both twins and Tamaki nodded together, following along- none having expected such a serious answer. "My brother will probably be asleep while we're in classes and during club so not only would the host club's large populace be there to mask an escape, but there will only be one bodyguard to give chase unless I can get to Ed- which is impractical if there _was_ an incident." Another finger went up. "There's also the layout of the changing rooms and bathrooms. The bathrooms in particular have large windows and amazing ventilation, but with both of those comes escape routes, and the changing rooms connect to one another in an isolated room so even a non alchemist criminal with enough skill would have no problem breaking her out of either. And if this is an alchemist, the second she's left alone for either of those they can put up a barrier and kidnap her without much effort. And if they're aiming to kill her...well one little distraction is _really_ all they need…."

Focusing back on his surroundings rather than his thoughts, Al noticed everyone in the apartment had gathered and was starting at him, some with worried expressions, others blank.

"Uhh...but no worries! Like I said as long as she doesn't leave my side we won't have any problems!...So I guess that would include changing….Actually, scratch that, just don't change out of that uniform at school until we have more information."

"Oh no!" Honey cried, "But today is cowboy themed!"

 _Cowboy themed?_ "And who all will be cowboys?"  
Tamaki instantly brightened up, "Well the host club of course!" They'd all been excited for the wild west day. They'd been watching westerns off and on over the course of a month- for research purposes, of course.

"So just the seven of you? Not your guests?"

Kyoya, picking up his bag and noting something else on his clipboard, nodded. "Only the members of the host club dress up, it appeals to the customers. Were our clients to dress up, there wouldn't be much difference between regular meetings and one of the costume parties we hold later in the year. It's more exotic if the object of their attention is dressed differently."

Al shook his head at this, "Okay, then Haruhi definitely can't change out of that blue uniform."

Dropping their schoolbags dramatically both the twins shouted in unison, "Whaaaat? Why not, that's no fun!"

Al, again, shook his head, this time with a sigh, "No offense, but I'm not here to have fun, I'm here to keep your friend safe." Picking up his backpack they'd picked up specifically for the mission, Al stuffed his brother's journal in before swinging it onto his back and heading towards the door.

Jogging to catch up as Al headed down the stairs, Tamaki tried to say something but stopped short as he nearly ran into Alphonse who'd jerked to a halt not far from the apartment's door. Seeing the younger Elric discreetly scan the area, Tamaki took the time to throw in his two cents, "Well how does not letting her participate in club activities keep her safe? I get the changing room thing but-"

Kyoya appeared behind the two, Haruhi not far behind with the twins surprisingly bringing up the rear. Pushing up his glasses, he swiftly cut Tamaki off. "There are roughly 280 male students at this school. Only a percentage of that participate in club activity." Shooting their bodyguard a sharp glance, Kyoya's glasses gleamed in the sunlight. "You're camoflauging her."

Al nods, turning his head to the group and motioning them all forward, "The only better outfit would be if we could get her to wear the girl's uniform given there are only 7, 9 men counting me and my brother, wearing the blue uniform vs the ridiculous amount of yellow dresses in the room at any given time."

Before anybody else could say anything, a very loud, "Be safe! All of you!" echoed from the Fujioka's apartment and the kids all waved to him as they started their trek to school.

The first half of the school day flew by as usual, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary aside from some questioning looks at Haruhi hanging out with one of the new kids all day. Alphonse for his part was actually a joy to hang out with, trying to ease the tension with curious questions about the school and the Host Club members, as well as getting to know his cousin a little bit more.

Ed- on the otherhand, had snuck into first period late, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face until the teacher noticed his presence with a scowl. Ed shrugged and as soon as the teacher turned back to the board he was out.

About halfway through second period the math teacher had slammed a ruler on the desk and called on Ed to come up to the board and solve an equation that was a few class periods ahead of what they were currently being taught.  
Discreetly kicking his brother to wake him up, Al gestured to the board and Ed rolled his eyes, strolling to the board with a yawn and quickly solving the equation before sitting back in his seat with his head in his arms and was lost again until lunch, leaving a mostly stunned class and a teacher that simply huffed and continued the lesson.

The bell for lunch rang and surprisingly no one had to wake Edward up, he was stretching as the bell sounded and motioned to Al they had things to discuss privately. With a nod, Al hung back slightly behind the group and the brothers entered the lunch line behind the host club, making sure Haruhi was in line despite packing her own food, and grabbing a meal with the meal cards they'd been given for the mission.

The Elrics sat next to each other at the end of the group, next to Tamaki. Haruhi, 3 seats down on the other side of the lunch table. Checking on their charge every once in a while, Ed pulled a decent sized file out of his messenger bag, and they began flipping through it between bites.

Tamaki and Kyoya had both tried to eavesdrop being the two closest to the brothers and directly across from one another, but the boys kept their voices low, and any snippet they could overhear seemed to be in a language neither understood. It seemed to be a mixture of English and German, but both boys knew it was neither. They could infer certain words and snippets that were similar to both languages, but in the end they reluctantly gave up and returned to the discussion their friends were engaged in instead.

As soon as Ed pulled out the file Al had let out a low whistle, "I'm surprised they gave you the file, what did you say?"

Opening said file and ruffling through, keeping the file close enough that the brothers could read it but nobody else could peek, Edward's shit-eating grin returned, "I was a little more... _persuasive_ today…" At his brother's skeptical look, Ed snorted, "Well I _may_ have started shouting and causing a scene and then blasting classified case information we figured all on our own, while framing the conversation in such a manner to make the chief of police seem _really_ irresponsible, which...come on he totally was."

"I'm surprised they listened this time instead of just arresting you."

"Apparently the head of the department was impressed by what I 'gathered' on my own and decided to actually do his job and double check my identity...Al these computer things are crazy, he literally typed in a few things on the keyboard and all of a sudden there was a picture of me on the screen." At Al's impressed look Ed chuckled, "Boy you should've seen that guy's face he paled so hard once he realized who I was, I thought he was gonna pass out."

The smug attitude didn't last much longer however as the conversation died down and both boys scoured the files. As it turns out the original victim was not the first, which had Edward grumbling about how "that's some pretty pertinent information to leave out of a briefing!".

The file they were currently devouring gave only short information about the "potentially" connected cases. A list of one with hardly any summarizing details besides 'for more information, check case no. 771829'. Attached to the so-called list, was a brief form stating that there was another body found a month prior chopped up in a very strange manner and was not included due to lack of alchemical symbol at the crime scene. No other information was given, but the description of the body being twisted at strange angles fit the description of the body found in the case they were currently flipping through and pissed Edward off royally.

"And they didnt think to give me the previous case file. _WHY_ is that not considered part of this case?" He growled through clenched teeth.

"Ed the way the victim was dismembered….does that remind you of anyone?"

"What, you mean Barry? He should be dead…" Then again how many people were dead to the public but still alive. Maria Ross, laboratory 5...the victims of the gold toothed doctor…they'd only _heard_ that Barry was gone. Sharing a skeptical look and a groan with his little brother who seemed to have followed his train of thought, Ed cleared his throat and changed his statement, "Uh...actually, if he _was_ alive- Barry's never shown any capability or interest in alchemy."

"Both of the victims were women though, it seems."

Ed nods, "Yeah, we shouldn't rule him out, just in case."

Taking another look at Haruhi who was fine, and right where they'd left her; the boys returned to the file going over every letter and scrap that was included.

It wasn't until last period that a call rang through to the classroom calling the Elrics to the principals office. The brothers shared a look and stood, ignoring the snickers of a few other students and making up a short story about how Haruhi should show them to the office as she had agreed to tour them previously and they were new to the school. The teacher allowed it as Haruhi had always been a good student, and the trio made their way to the headmaster's office.

Yuzuru sent a questioning look at Haruhi as the three of them entered, which Ed waved off as "a necessary precaution", which was accepted and the three took a seat, the brothers directly before the large desk, and their charge in one of the seats to the right that lined the wall.

"So what do you want?"

Elbowing his brother in the ribs Al flashed a strained smile, "Sorry about him, someone dropped him on his head and he lost his ability to be polite."

Ed snorted and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "Tragic."

Yuzuru shook his head, a faint smile on his face, "Don't worry about it, we're family. That's actually one of the reasons I called you in here." This caught the attention of the boys, both of them suddenly more attentive to the conversation. They'd spoken to Yuzuru Suoh early the previous day about school conduct, their schedule and what was expected of them while within the walls of the academy, however it was mostly professional and only pertained to the mission. Shortly after that they were introduced to the host club and sent off for their first official day at school. The fact that the man almost wore an entirely different demeanor, far less business-like than the man they'd met yesterday, and wished to speak on familial topics caught them both off-guard. "Before we get to that, I trust with Haruhi's presence you've got the _situation_ under control?"

Al nodded, "Yes we do. We don't really know what the enemy is looking for or what tactics he'll use, but we're taking every precaution we can until more information crops up and we can prepare more thoroughly."

"And you intend to keep the other students safe as well?"

Ed waved a hand as he answered, "As of right now none of them should be in danger. We don't even know if Haruhi would be considered a target at this point. However if we suspect the student populace is in danger we'll do what we need to to protect them."

The older man smiled, "That's very reassuring to hear, as you know my son, your cousin, is a friend of Haruhi's and I worry as any parent would. I've assured the students and faculty that precautions are being taken to ensure a safe learning environment here at Ouran. As long as you've both got this handled then I shouldn't need to do anything more than that." Nodding appreciatively, the brunette continued, "Now that that's out of the way," He paused slightly, "I...heard about Trisha- I'm very sorry for your loss and I apologize for not getting in contact sooner. She was my sister. We were close when we were young but I...never assumed _that_ was why she stopped replying to correspondence, what with the war going on and all that-"

" -"

"Please, Alphonse, Uncle is fine."

Al paused briefly at the term not having used it since the Rockbells. " _Uncle_ Suoh... we understand. We were confused at first because we didn't know we even _had_ extended family and it'd been so long, but Amestris had never _really_ had open borders in the first place."

"That," Ed picked up, "And Resembool _did_ get targeted during the Isbalan war- destroyed communication lines and the train station and miles of the town itself. It'd make sense that any communications were closed or knocked out completely. Pretty sure phone lines were down for a while, but I was probably 7 or 8 at the time so I sure as hell don't remember for how long, everyone we talked to was within walking distance so it's not like it was a burden to either of us." With a shrug, he continued, "Point being, don't worry about it. Shit happens, people lose track of time...we're...sorry about your sister."

Studying the both of them, Yuzuru took the time to internalize the information he was given and sighed, nodded his head in the universal sign of understanding, "Thank you both. It...I think it's still rather unacceptable to have waited this long to reach out to her-"

Cutting him off, Ed shook his head, "Like we said, don't worry about it. It's been 14 years. Our old man who was _actually_ responsible for us took the same amount of time to finally grace us with _his_ presence-"

" _Brother._ "

"What? It's true. Just because I've forgiven the bastard, doesn't mean he wasn't a terrible father."

Suoh, surprised at the harsh tone towards his brother-in-law, who had seemed such a nice man when Trisha spoke of him, shook his head and interjected, "Even more unacceptable, if I'd have known we could have offered you a home, money, whatever you needed-"

Ed was getting irritated with the empty promises, could have, would have, what good were those? They didn't get aid like that when they'd needed it, and what were the chances a stranger who'd never met nor cared about them would have bothered to in the first place. The man sitting in front of them gave off more of an impression that he was flashing his wealth rather than actual concern and Ed had hold back a rather mean scowl- not that he bothered to hide the irritation in his voice. "Forget the ifs, old man. We _had_ a home. Our neighbor took us in, _don't worry about it_ -"

"What my brother _means_ to say," Al picked up, knowing exactly why his brother was loosing his cool. They'd both been expecting more details about their mom, or even the mysterious 'uncle' in front of them, not slew of ideas of what could have been done during the times they'd tried to forget. "Is that you can't change the past. None of us knew anything about each other's situation at the time and that can't be helped. You did what you could now to at least meet us and you're making an effort." Al looked quickly to his brother to see that he was starting to relax a little, Ed didn't look at him, but gave a small nod. Turning back to the middle-aged man, Al sighed, "It's honestly more than we expected. We knew everyone on our dad's side was dead, but we'd assumed the same for our mom." At this Alphonse sat up a little straighter and flashed the man a smile, "It's really neat to know we do have family out there though. And we do appreciate that you would have taken care of us if you'd have known, but...I personally think that things worked out the best they could've with how things went."

 _Of course they did._ Ed snorted but kept his comments to himself. _Amestris wouldn't even exist anymore if things didn't happen the way they did._

Raising an eyebrow at Ed's seemingly distaste to his little brother's statement, Yuzuru questioned, "Is something the matter, Edward?"

"Hm? Oh, no, no. Felt like I was gonna sneeze. I agree with Al. We've got a lot of people who care about us now and as much as I'd wish certain things hadn't happened, we're probably much better off in the long run."

"...I see…" Yuzuru nodded, "Well in that case, I'm sure Tamaki's already beaten me to it, but feel free to drop by the mansion at any time if you need a place to stay, Tamaki stays at the second estate and we surely have the room." Both brothers shared a look that roughly equivalates to _**Second**_ _estate?_ "Though I suppose that'll have to wait until after everything is done and settled here, seeing as I've been told you're staying with Haruhi?"

Edward nodded, "Yes, we are. Until we can guarantee that she's not a target or the culprit is taken into custody."

"Very well, then when that time comes, we'd love to have you over for dinner! I'd like to learn more of my nephews and I'm sure Tamaki is equally curious." Making a show to look at the clock on the wall, the principal cotinued, "It was great speaking with you boys, but we'll have to catch up another time, club is about to start, and we can't have any of you late to the Host club!"

As soon as the trio left the office and were far enough down the hall, Ed mused, "That was kinda weird…"

"What was?"

"The whole thing. He doesn't know us at all, Mom sure as hell never mentioned him to us, and yet hes acting like we _should_ know him."

"Mom probably never mentioned him because we wouldn't know who he was." Al shrugged, "Or maybe she did mention him and we were too young to remember."

"I dunno Al, I think I smell an ulterior motive."

"Ed, you can smell an ulterior motive in a farmer's field. Maybe he's just being nice."

"Al have I ever told you what the words 'wishful thinking' mean?"

"Oh shut up. Not everybody's out to get us, brother."

"And not everybody's _nice_ , either." Ed sighs, turning to look out the large windows lining the hall, "I don't know Al, it probably is nothing but it's a little too…"

"Easy?"

"Yeah."

"No I got you there. I just can't...what sort of ulterior motive would he have to getting to know us? He's already got us here keeping the students safe, what more could he want?"

"Well," Haruhi began, startling the two brothers who, in all honestly, vaguely forgot about her, "He is a business man first and foremost, and I don't know much about him, but nobody I know really speaks badly of him. Maybe he's just making connections?"

Al looked thoughtful, "Thats a possibility, Brother does know a lot of people."

"None that he'd have a snowballs chance in hell at getting in contact with."

"Why's that?" Haruhi asked as they made their way around a corner.

Edward shrugged, "Most of the connections I have need a military grade id number in order to even attempt contacting outside of emergency situations. Someone like him? Would take years to contact any of them. The only reason he was able to get ahold of us in the first place was because the police had requested help and he piggybacked off that. In other words, an emergency situation."

Haruhi nodded as the blonde's explanation turned to rambling, though she noted, her brother made no attempt to stop him.

"...how many times people think they can contact the fuhrer through me, like I want to bother with the kind of formalities that shit takes."

"Brother," Al spoke, noticing Haruhi had come to a halt and that they were standing in front of music room 3, "I think we're here."

With a groan, Ed's posture immediately slumped as he mumbled under his breath, "Let's get this over with."


	5. Cowboys and Camoflage

Well i missed FMA day but I've got quite a bit of extra info about the story to make up for it! Enjoy! Please let me know what you think of this chapter!

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 **Cowboys and Camoflage**

* * *

The Elrics and Haruhi had arrived at music room 3 with roughly 20 minutes to prepare for the actual meeting. The brothers followed the brunette quickly to the back...and were promptly tackled with all sorts of attempts to get the brothers to revoke their stance on cowboy day.

"No."

The club was silent for just a moment at Edward's calm denial of their requests, but it quickly turned to back and forth between most of the members and the elder Elric. Alphonse had taken a seat beside Haruhi on a loveseat beside the confrontation to observe. Mori and Kyoya having found their own spots around the room to watch the one-sided argument between the two redheads and the three blondes.

"Please?"

"No way."

"We'll be careful!"

"That's not how this works."

"We'll keep an eye on her!"

"Still not how this works."

"Please please please!"

"Nope."

"But-"

"But what?"

"But we can-"

"You can't that's the point."

"Let me finish! We could-"

" _No_."

"But it'd be fun!"

"I'm not here to have fun."

"We could-"

"We're already taking a lot of risks as it is. _No_."

"We absolutely could!"

" _Absolutely_ not."

Hikaru, frustrated that they were getting nowhere, slams his fists on a nearby end table, nearly toppling the small vase that was settled upon it. "Argh, why _NOT!?_ "

Edward getting equally irritated at the boy's own annoyance raised an eyebrow as well as his voice, "Do you _not_ understand the concept of camoflauge? We're trying to hide Haruhi in plain sight, not have her stick out like a sore thumb!"

"Him-"

Stopping dead in his tracks at the simple correction Ed narrowed his eyes. Semantics. Their friend was in danger, could die in an awful manner, and they were arguing _semantics_ among the handful of people who knew the truth about Haruhi- who herself did not care. Where it was absolutely _not_ necessary to keep up the charade.

Up until this point, Ed had thought he'd done a good job controlling his temper. He'd been getting better with it since he got home and the most pressing stresses of his life had ebbed away. When it counted, he could usually hold his tongue and he hadn't _really_ lost his temper for quite a while now.

However he was never good with whining, not whining like this. Al's whining as a kid was shortlived, he'd give up pretty quickly knowing his brother wouldn't budge and all in all it was pretty cute because he'd immediately take to pouting and then forget what he was crying about. Winry's whining was like Al's but more persistent, (which after some bickering as of late had resulted in him caving), but it never stayed actual whining for long. Elicia's whining was irritating because she'd once gotten into the habit of screeching somewhere along the line due to some relative spoiling her (she'd never do it around her mother) but he'd simply leave the room until she stopped and she quickly changed tactics once she realized that got him to leave rather than her own way. But that was it, he never _handled_ Elicia's whining. It irritated him to the point he'd just leave to take a breather which helped Elicia stop the behavior on her own terms.  
But this was different, he couldn't just _walk away_ in this situation.

From the second they'd walked into to room the host club had been begging, pleading and whining for a different outcome regarding the stupid dress-up day and what little patience he'd gathered was slipping. Take all of that and add it to the inadequate amount of sleep plus the already built up anger from Yuzuru not even an hour ago and that patience was _**gone**_.

Edward had had enough.

Shaking his head, and throwing his hands up to dismiss the correction, Ed cut Hikaru off, "Yeah yeah _him_ , does that _really_ matter right now? If it was up to _me_ there wouldn't be _any_ of these dress up games until we know what's going on- but between the lot of you and-" Ed quickly points at Tamaki's sad puppy dog eyes that had been on full blast since the argument began, " _This one_ who won't stop pestering me about letting club continue _as per usual_ so whatever!" Throwing his hands in the air, Edward gestured to Haruhi and Alphonse on the loveseat, his voice having risen gradually throughout his rant, "You want to put him in danger _go ahead_ , it's not _my_ funeral-"

"Brother!" Al scolded, jumping up from his place on the couch.

" _What_ , _Al?!_ "

"You can't just say something like that!"

"Are you _kidding me_?! They- They're arguing that a _wardrobe change_ is more important than their friend's _**life**_!"

At that, Alphonse continued the heated argument in Amestrian and Ed followed suit, leaving the rest of the host club to watch the brothers and absorb the last Japanese* statement they'd heard. It was like a slap in the face that this was real, the danger was real, and it left the group in stunned silence as they watched the siblings verbally abuse each other.

Both Elrics were arguing at full volume at this point, throwing their arms around for emphasis as they made their points, no longer caring or noticing the others in the room. Occasionally Edward would turn from his brother take a few steps to pace as Al made his case and then came back to shout something else.

Edward shook his head vigorously and cut Alphonse off multiple times, slamming his right hand in his left to emphasize his point.

Al growled out of frustration, ripping at his hair before roaring back, "Were vas es Winry was venn?! He?!"***

Ed immediately responded, "Ich wurdn Winry absich wenn vas es gefahctung!" Turning from his brother he threw his hands in the air and then spun on his heel, marching right back to Alphonse and continuing as if he'd never turned away, "Vas es ware Winry, sie dam aus verdamt shun schule! Waurum du vetfenidigst est das? Sie knnet diesh!"

Al huffed angrily and steadied his voice as he gestured to the group, anger still in his voice, but he seemed calmer as if he was explaining something and Ed visibly winced. As fast as his expression changed, it changed back to anger pretty quickly and both brothers were now gesturing wildly to the other members of the host club.

And then it was silent.

Ed and Al stared each other down, eye to eye, neither moving, their faces reflecting the same defiant expression. The tension was still in the room, none of the host members dared break the silence after seeing how fiercely the Elrics argued over what many of the club would've considered teasing at best and annoying at worst. Such an aggressive reaction caught them all off guard, and a few of them recalled the Elric's explanation from the previous night about how dangerous alchemists were.

Edward snorted, his expression softening and the tension in his shoulders relaxing ever so slightly as he shook his head. Al, meanwhile sighed and lightly punched his brother in the arm, punctuating it with a chuckle and a tired grin that his older brother returned with a sharp laugh.

"Sie wisset, unseute ab arbeit hangt coate, siewie zubeiten, richt?"

Hanging his head with an even heavier sigh, Al responded with a simple drawn out, "Jaaaa." Which caused Ed to laugh and then immediately whine like his brother, "We've got our work cut out for us apparently." It was quiet. Under normal circumstances it would have gone unheard specifically with the hoarseness in the blonde's voice, but with the silence in the room it rung almost as loud as the argument.

To the brothers, it was a slightly awkward, but just as slightly comfortable silence. To the host club, who had lived relatively calm easy going lives filled with minor stressors rather than war, it was tense. Everyone in the room had seen fierce arguments of course, but none of them compared to what they'd just witnessed, the Elrics had an edge to them when they got angry that was absolutely intimidating. None of the club members wanted to break the silence, afraid of instigating another argument, and surprisingly (or not so surprisingly), it was Hunny who stepped forward.

"Would dressing up tonight really put Haru-chan in danger?"

Ed looked over tiredly at the tiny 3rd year, annoyance prickling under his skin, but before he could open his mouth, Alphonse spoke for him. " _Yes_. That's what we've been saying. We don't know exactly what we're dealing with and until we know who's targeting her anyone could be a threat."

Hikaru narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but his voice was much quieter than expected, "Sounds like paranoia."

Al shook his head, "Paranoia isn't paranoia if your worries are real. We have both evidence and reasoning to be this wary about the situation, so it isn't paranoia, it's simple precautions for this type of situation."

Ed took this moment to speak up, "You do realize how much slack we've been giving you, don't you?" He made sure to look every member of the club in the eye, "If it was anybody else, Haruhi would have been under house arrest, going to school and that's it, _if_ she were lucky. If it weren't for the headmaster, club would have been entirely out of the question from the get go."

Taking a moment to let Edward's words sink in, Al looked over at his brother and the crushed faces of the host club, and let out a near inaudible whine.

Ed looked over at the sound and immediately regretted it. "I don't like that look on your face Alphonse."

"But….we could maybe….let them?" The host club immediately brightened, and Ed scowled, forcing Alphonse to clarify, "Just this once!"

"It only takes once Al, what about camoflauge?"

Bolstered by the prospect of a new ally and the change in atmosphere, the twins shared a look and stepped forward with matching grins,

"Well, you keep talking about camoflage-"

"But if the host club dresses up as planned-"

"Then you two would be the ones sticking out all dressed in blue…"

Ed groans, irritated at this starting up _again_ \- especially after they'd _won_ the argument- but the only emotion present in his voice was irritation. The fire from before nearly extinguished. "It's not the camoflauge during club you idiot, it's for a quick getaway if we need it!"

Al sighs, "If it were just during club meetings camoflauge wouldn't really work anyway since all you'd have to do is pay attention to conversations."

Ed nods and is about to agree verbally, but he's cut off by Al's next statement, "Which is why I think it _might_ be okay?"

Scowl returning immediately, Ed pinches the bridge of his nose, dramatically sighing as he does so, "Al-"

"Regular clothes."

Ed blinks and turns to Mori, completely thrown for a loop, "Excuse me?"

"Takashi that's a great idea! What if Haruhi wears normal clothes under his cowboy costume? Then if he needs to run he can take it off and he'll be wearing a whole different outfit!"

Tamaki snaps his fingers, smitten with the idea, "Brilliant! And what's more we could even go so far as to do a City slickers vs Cowboys theme! Then he'd be ready to run instead of having to take anything off!"

Everyone turns to Ed and Al. Aside from Kyoya, Haruhi and Mori, the rest of the club pelt the brothers their best puppy-dog eyes causing them both to shuffle uncomfortably and murmur at the sudden attention and begging, "Um..."

Al, slightly copying the other teenagers as he glanced over at his big brother, "I don't see why we _couldn't_ try it, right, _brother_?"

Pressing his mouth into a line Ed mutters something incomprehensible and walks over to Haruhi to inspect her as he thinks. After a few seconds, he picks up a lock of her hair, squints and sighs, "Yeah yeah fine. I guess that'd work." Patting the air with his right hand to stop the Host Club from getting out of line in their excitement, he continued, "It'd have to be common clothes though, nothing flashy. A plain t-shirt, maybe a jacket, nothing bright."

Al snickers, "Sooo the exact opposite of how you usually dress?"

"Yeah- Hey! I wear that _TO_ stand out that's the point of it!"

Hikaru and Kaoru share a sneaky grin, "Wear _what_?"

"Brother's got this bright red trenchcoat he used to wear _everywhere_."

"Except when we had to do _undercover missions_. And you know exactly _why_ I used to wear that!"

"Yeah because they used to think _I_ was Fullmetal, not you."

Ed rolls his eyes, "I started wearing it _before_ I joined the military, Al!"

"That doesn't mean that wasn't a reason you _continued_ to wear it!"

"AHem." Everyone turned to look at the host club's King, "Uh, hate to interrupt but...uh, club's going to start soon and since we _can_ get changed, we're going to have to. _Soon_."

Kyoya nods, his glasses flashing, "That means you two as well."

Ed whips his head to stare at the club's vice president, " _Pardon_?"

Hikaru repeated his earlier point, looking the bodyguard up and down, "If you don't, you'll attract a lot more attention to us being the only ones in that blue suit."

Snickering, Kaoru tries to cover his mouth with a hand, "Unless you'd prefer a yellow dress?"

Ed looks between the twins, to the rest of the host club, and his brother who seems absolutely fine with the idea, and fixes both of the twins with a glare, "What did you have in mind..?"

It didn't take long for the twins to return, having rushed to the back immediately to rustle through the piles of clothing they'd acquired for the occasion. However, instead of a small selection for the Elrics to search through, or even one sensible outfit, the twins had gathered one in particular and honed in on Edward.  
Holding up a brown horse suit, with a stuffed horse-head hood, Kaoru was struggling not to grin. Hikaru, with an equally serious face, was showing off a cowprint jacket with brown tassles, and a matching cowprint Stetson with black trim. For the horse-hood's head, of course.

Ed was speechless for a moment. Quickly regaining his senses, he shot both twins a glare and uttered a very concise, "No way in hell."

Al burst out laughing, "C'mon Ed, I'm sure Winry-"

" _ **Don't**_ even." Ed interrupted, "No way in hell I'm willingly handing blackmail material to my fiance. If you're so interested why don't _you_ wear it?"

A strangled sound made it's way out of Alphonse's throat and he squeaked out a sharp, "What! Me? Nooo no no I'm good, brother this outfit was clearly meant for _you_."

Cautiously, Ed turns to his brother, "And just what do you mean by that?"

His brother, shit-eating grin spread across his face, spoke, "Well, you _are_ an ass." and took off to the back of the room, weaving through the three dressed Host members in the doorway. Ed, on the otherhand, slammed into Kyoya in his attempt to follow Al, "Why don't you say that again when I've slept for more than two hours!"

Not five minutes later and the host club was fully dressed for the occasion. The city slickers idea had been shot down, due to the simple fact it'd further divide the group which was the exact opposite of what they were trying to do. As such, they went with their original roles they'd come up with weeks prior.  
Tamaki was the sheriff; Kyoya, the deputy; Hikaru and Kaoru, bandits; Mori was a carriage driver with Hunny as his rancher; and Haruhi was the wandering traveller. Each armed with a stick-horse or a stick-cow and an orange nerf gun in the style of revolvers, shotguns and old time-y pistols.  
The Elrics, not having been planned into the dress code, didn't have character roles, but were shooed in as tag-along cowboys in the same travelling band as Haruhi.

Both brothers stepped out of the changing room at roughly the same time. Straightening his t-shirt, Ed looked himself over in the mirror outside the changing rooms and nodded satisfied.

He wore his hair back in a braid, as per usual; but topped with a black cowboy hat with very obnoxious flames around the brim. His black t-shirt was branded with a flaming cowskull which matched the cowskull belt buckle on his black belt. The look was finished off with black cowboy boots, and blue jeans.  
Alphonse's outfit was much more muted, a blue button-down under a brown vest, darker blue-jeans than his brother, a red bandanna and brown cowboy boots.

Al takes one look at his brother and deadpans, "Seriously?"

"What?"

" _That's_ the shirt you picked to not stand out?"

Taking the defensive, Ed crosses his arms, "What's wrong with it, it's cool!"

"I mean it's _you_ , but…"

"I swear if you bring up my sense of style one more time Alphonse-"

Shaking his head, Al goes back into the dressing room and returns with a black denim jacket, "At least wear this with it, you're defeating the point of 90% of your argument."

Ed frowns, but listens to his brother and puts the jacket on, "Yeah well if we're all gonna look stupid I'd rather the bad guy tail the idiot with the fire skull shirt than someone who can't defend themselves."

"I guess…" Al looks back to his brother, "Of course that's not why you picked that, is it?"

"Of course not, it's cool as hell!"

There's a knock at the door and the twins walk in, fully intending to hurry the boys up because the doors were about to open, but both stopped dead in their tracks and gaped. Hikaru was the first to speak, " _That's_ what you chose to wear?"

"You got a problem with it?" Ed snapped back.

"More problems than we'd have had with the horse." Kaoru mumbled.

"Then why did you have it be an option if you hated it so much?"

The twins looked at each other and spoke in unison, "We didn't think anyone would actually pick it!"

"Oh _fuck off_!"

What Ed didn't expect was for the twins to do just that. He'd expected an argument or more teasing but they simply shrugged and left the room which left both brothers confused in the back.  
...That is until they'd realized they'd done exactly what they weren't supposed to do and left Haruhi alone while they'd picked out their outfits.

Both brothers cursing under their breath they burst out of the room, drawing everyone's attention; but upon spotting Haruhi alive and well, they both composed themselves and walked toward the group as if they hadn't just panicked over getting distracted. Al did what everyone expected and joined the Host Club in front of the door.  
Ed, meanwhile, made a beeline for the nearest hammock, tied to a horse-tie prop and a very impressive fake pine, plopping himself in it. Crossing his legs, his gave Al a thumbs up and when his brother returned it, he pulls his hat over his face and falls asleep.

Tamaki, dumbfounded, looks between the brothers, muttering about it being a prop which makes Al laugh.

"That's Ed. Believe me it'll be an easier time if he's better rested."

Tamaki shakes his head, "That's not it, we just didn't intend it for use, I don't know if its secure."

Al shrugs, "Knowing my brother, if it falls he'll sleep through it."

Before the conversation could go any further Kyoya cleared his throat and pointed out that it was time for the doors to open, and the Host Club realigned itself and got prepared for their guests.

The club was uneventful. Well, as uneventful as a club's event could be. Everyone tried to stay in character with the quirks of a cowboy and their intended role.

Hunny dribbled saliva down his face after he tried to spit into a spittoon.  
The twins pulled various pranks and held their guests or the other hosts hostage and defended their behaviour as staying in character, which the guests absolutely loved.

Every once in a while, Ed would move or grunt and startle some of the nearby guests who thought he was a prop or simply didn't notice him there. When questioned, everybody had taken to shrugging and quoting Al, "That's Ed," and then changing the subject. This left the guests more confused than they were before.

Al's Resembool lingo came out full force, littering his language with various contractions and making his Japanese sound far more foreign, which did far more to the act than anyone could've imagined. This worked wonders to pull in a crowd, not only was his Amestrian accent flaring up, but his _Resembool_ accent was as well, which usually didn't happen unless they were home or in other rural areas, but the guests ate it up. He quickly became the most popular host of the night, despite not being a host. Most of the girls who attended the last meeting or ended up in the same class as the Elrics jumped at their chance to meet and talk to one of them. The genuine country-boy accent* was simply icing on the cake.

When club ended, Tamaki and the Hitachiins decided to stay at Haruhi's again, this time following them home instead of just showing up at her apartment. Tamaki insisted he wanted to learn more about his cousins as well as wanting to keep Haruhi safe. The twins had insisted they had to stay because it was far more interesting at Haruhi's and the group continued on their way, the Elrics on guard despite their calm outward appearances. Ed was chugging a soda in preparation for the night, and Al was locked in conversation with the twins about the quality of the clothes they'd worn earlier, but every now and again one of the boys would turn a little too quickly at a noise nobody else noticed or perked up at a conversation that wasn't one of the ones from the group.

Tamaki who had been leading the group and talking with Haruhi, lost his companion to the clothing conversation as Haruhi chimed in about how drastically different rich clothes were in terms of fitting and comfort. He dropped back, to hopefully join in as well but was completely at a loss- he didn't know much of anything about clothing in the context of the conversation, so he just walked on sandwiched awkwardly between and slightly behind the Elrics.  
A few minutes passed like this and then the group changed again as they turned down the narrower side street Haruhi's apartment was located on, shoving Ed and Tamaki to the back of the pack, and Al pushed himself to the opposite front to balance out the configuration and get a better viewpoint.

After a minute of silence, Ed broke it with a simple, "What did you wanna know?" which was responded to with a confused, "Huh?"  
After clarifying he was asking about Tamaki's reasoning for coming with them, the two blondes began a back and forth of questions and had settled on parents before long. Both of which had similar gripes, not knowing their mother for as long as they'd like and having something awful tear them out of their lives, having dads who cared but were in general kindof awful fathers from their perspectives. It wasn't long before they'd reached Haruhi's apartment and the conversation came to an end, but both felt they understood one another a little bit better. Later at dinner they picked up conversation again but on much lighter topics, the question and answer style discussion picking up again.

Neither one noticed Alphonse sneeking peeks at them every now and again with a small smile on his face.

That night, Al stayed up later than the other inhabitants of the household so Ed could take some rounds outside. Taking out his book, he took notes on escape routes possible from the apartment both with and without alchemy, fire escapes and other apartments. During the 3rd round he noticed an unusual amount of junk in a few of the alleyways. Noting it down, he decided it was best to head back so Al could be well rested for day watch.

The third day started out a lot calmer than the previous one. There was no fight in the morning, Ed and Al were both present for the walk to school which was filled with amiable conversation from both brothers. Ed was asleep in first period again, this time not waking up when the teacher called on him. About halfway through the day though, Ed is marked absent. Much of the class noticed, but couldn't place when he'd left the room. During the next break Haruhi was the first to ask about it, but Al assured her and the twins Ed would be fine and that she shouldn't worry.  
"If he hasn't skipped class to fall asleep somewhere more comfortable he's probably grabbing a bite to eat in the cafeteria. Brother eats like a pig." The twins bought it with a shrug and returned to their seats, but Haruhi could tell that something was bothering the boy.

The day flew by and the club meeting had come and gone, the idea that Ed was asleep in an undisclosed area somewhere in the school had been thrown around during the meeting to anyone who'd asked, the location changing each time. When asked to elaborate, the host in question shrugged and repeated their answer from the previous meeting, "That's Ed."

After the club and cleanup came the planning meeting and all sorts of things were discussed from budgeting for the next event and various new tactics, to employing the Elrics while they were here due to the crowd they drew naturally. Alphonse's kind demeanor and sociable attitude drew a crowd based on his general friendliness, and he was given the honorary title of the 'Genuine' type. The foreign accent that flared up now and again helped to add to the draw of his character, and with the both of them being good looking exchange students, the customers were dying to learn more.  
"Edward, being asleep and antisocial makes him unavailable and that in itself is a draw. However judging by the reactions of our guests he seems to give off an air of mystery, making him seem even more exotic since they've never interacted with him for more than a few exchanges." Kyoya pointed out, Alphonse had absolutely not tried to hide his laugh when he heard the word 'mysterious' in the same sentence as his older brother, and quickly compared him to a cryptid: mysterious and exotic in theory, but absolutely not in reality.

As the meeting was wrapping up, and they were waiting on Edward to arrive, Tamaki brought up changing the theme for the next meeting to something else to kill time. Ideas were thrown out to involve the guests such as early Halloween, or gender swaps, things they could do to enhance Haruhi's camouflage and make the Elric's jobs a little easier.

Just as the conversation was lulling again, the door to music room 03 opened and Ed shuffled in, hair sticking up everywhere and greeted or waved when they realized it was him, figuring Al was right and he really had found a broom closet to pass out in. Alphonse, upon spotting his sibling, had immediately shouted, "Brother!" and bolted out of his seat to his side, betraying the cool head he'd had since Ed had skipped class.

The group, relieved at Ed being okay had begun to joke and express their relief, only Kyoya, Hunny and Mori seemed to notice his off gait. As the blonde collapsed into a chair at the table, Al briefly hesitated to leave his side, but soon reclaimed his seat across from him as his brother waved him off. The remaining members of the Host Club turned to look at him. _Really_ look at him.  
His purple suit jacket was torn and slashed in a few places, dirty and scuffed, but not noticeably bloody. The smell of burnt clothing and distinctly metallic scents followed him in. He had small cuts here and there, some that were bleeding slightly, but nothing obviously serious.  
The strangest part was the small specks of silver-grey that seemed to be embedded in his jacket, a good sized chunk on his upper arm, and small specks sticking strands of his hair together in clumps.

"I've got good news and bad news." Ed began before anybody could ask about it, "Good news is I managed to find the bastard. Bad news is he _is_ an alchemist."

* * *

 **ANs**

*So idk if anyone has wondered about the language thing but the two languages spoken in here are Amestrian and Japanese. You're reading the English sub- *Gets whacked upside the head with a drumset*

Amestrian for this fic is sortof a cross between German and English. Reasoning? Amestris is based off industrial era London, thus the Amestrian language would most logically be English; however 03's connection to Germany, the use of Fuhrer and the fact English itself is a Germanic language and similar to German in enough ways that I can pick out words in conversations, I think are enough reasons to make it not just boring old English.  
Tamaki I'd imagine would speak French, Japanese and English, idk to what fluency but he is from France, and currently lives in Japan, which teaches English in classes. This would make eavesdropping a problem. Plus as Amestris is not a real country™, and I'm adding it in as a foreign country in our world, I don't really care for the idea that it's the exact same language as another country that has nothing to do with it that exists in the same world.

More Specifically: Amestrian is a Germanic language. English and German are both West Germanic languages and branch off after that subset. I'm gonna throw Amestrian in there.

So: The three subsets of West Germanic languages will be: Anglo-Frisian (which English comes from), Amestrian, and Netherlandic-German (where German comes from), making Amestrian a language older than both English and German, however similar enough that it can be identified and some words can be inferred based on roots and cognates- thank you for coming to my TED talk.  
(If you google Germanic Languages there are charts, in case this got too confusing to follow.)

**I don't recall who came up with it, but the southern accent is a headcanon I spotted on tumblr a while back and fell in love with. Basically the boys have an accent from growing up in sheeptown mc rural. If I can find the post I'll go back and source it.

***Any of the 'Amestrian' in this chapter is nonsense. I picked a particular phrase threw it into google translate English to German, and then switched words around and butchered them adding in different letters and just ruining the syntax. I don't know any sentence structure for German so I just botched it. It really doesn't need to make sense, just appear to be foreign and incomprehensible and I hope I did so for any readers who actually speak German cause I think I absolutely butchered the languages and I apologize if it made you cringe at all. Here's hoping I did not make some other phrase but I guess that sortof works out if I did as it'd leave any of the characters you think speak german confused af haha

The important part is that you catch the name drop because it gets Ed to think for a minute.

Translations in order:

Al- "What if it was Winry?! Huh?!"  
Ed- "I wouldn't intentionally put Winry in more danger!"  
"If it were Winry she would have been pulled from school!"  
"Why are you defending them?! You know this!"

BREAK

"You know our job depends on how they cooperate, right?"  
Al- whiny "Yeahhhhhh."

I imagine most of the argument before this was about tact and the fact the HC is trying to cope with the situation and how they were probably scared and Ed was just _not getting_ it.

There wasn't originally supposed to be a fight in this chapter, it was supposed to be a funny ha ha scene about bonding and making fun of each other but once I got writing oooh boy did I have to push the fun down the page with a lot of padding. I can't imagine Ed _not_ getting actually pissed at the HC ignoring the danger after everything the brothers had gone through and specifically mentioned to the HC. Old habits die hard, PTSD and in general any learned behaviours related to survival while you're still growing (ie. ages 12-16+) are hard to break and I kinda wanted to include that at some point in this, I've tried to subtly but idk how well that's working. (Also I ended up really liking the fight and it doesn't fit anywhere else.)

 **BONUS!**

Context in Alchemical Reactions that may not make it into a chapter: the second Japan started making treaties and trade agreements with Amestris, Mustang made sure his unit learned Japanese. Despite being retired, this includes Edward and by extension Alphonse, so they'd already been learning Japanese for a bit before they went travelling and later were approached for this mission. Winry picked up some Japanese when the boys were first learning and practiced with them before they officially left for Japan. She is by no means fluent so if she ever does appear in this as more than a passing mention be prepared for some choppy English because I am bad with accents and the perception of languages tbh (which is why the Amestrian is so bad) and my only experience is poorly learned spanish.

PS. After the boys return from Japan they make sure she speaks Japanese fluently because they now have family and friends who speak it so it's useful.

P.S.S. idk if it'll ever be relevant but I'd imagine the Elrics have a couple other languages under their belt as well. Specifically Cretan for Ed and Xingese for Al, since they spent extended time in those countries. They probably know a bit of each as well simply from sharing knowledge for research purposes, but Ed's Xingese would be better than Al's Cretan since they both have friends from Xing and he hears it more often.

Also what else does Ed have to learn at this point? Certainly not alchemy- *shot*


	6. What To Do

Hey so there's actually Amestrian in this chapter that relates to worldbuilding! It's all underlined. Enjoy!

* * *

 **What to do**

* * *

The tension in the room was so thick it was hard to breathe. Haruhi swallowed, realizing exactly what this meant: No more fooling around.  
Ed's words from the previous day rung in their ears, about not taking chances and extra dangers; Edward going missing and then showing up injured nailed it into their heads that he had been right to err on the side of caution.

Alphonse broke the awful tension with a strangled growl, his words angry and hoarse from worry, "What do you mean _you_ found _him_?! You didn't sleep last night and you can't do alchemy anymore! You better not have gone out looking for him! You said you wouldn't be that reckless anymore, brother!"

Looking to his sibling, Ed held up his hands, his left slightly higher than his right, in a placating manner, "Al relax, I didn't. I just had a hunch and followed up on a couple things like revisiting the crime scene and some proximital locations and..well…" With a sigh the older Elric scrunched up his nose in disgust, "You know our luck."

Al knew his brother was hurt, but Ed's calm attitude at the accusation left him skeptical. "So you didn't provoke him?"

Looking away and scratching his face with his left forefinger Ed hesitated, "Uhh….Well…"

"Brother!"

"Al, hear me out-"

"Brother I can't believe you!

"Al, he had someone pinned up against a wall!" That caught Al's attention and Ed continued, "I had no idea it was the guy we were looking for until I got his attention and had to dodge boiling metal he shot at me out of a pipe." Pointing at the specks of silvery-gray on his jacket, Ed started picking at cooled silver that had seeped into the arm of his coat, it didn't budge. "Pretty sure I've got a burn of some kind under this."

Al got up and walked back to his brother's side to examine him more thoroughly. He'd known the metal at first glance, some sort of Aluminum hybrid, and that his brother had a limp, but he was acting calmer than he usually did when he was hurt so he'd taken the seriousness of what happened over his brother's condition.  
Turning his brother's chair to the side so he could get a good look at him, Al sighed.

Edward was _clearly_ exhausted, though subtle, the underside of his eyes were darker than usual and his expression held a weariness that Alphonse didn't see often, despite how much his older brother tended to run himself ragged over the years. He was covered with dirt and dust peppering every inch of him, from the scuff on his left cheek where he very obviously must have collided with the earth, to the small clumps in his hair where it seemed to have hit him from a distance.

His clothes were littered with cuts and slashes, indicating some sort of weapon struggle, but there wasn't much blood among them, and many of them were small clean cuts that had been further torn along the edges. Most of what Al was able to notice was hard to see, obscured under dirt, grime, and fabric fibers.

Nothing was bleeding profusely, which was a good sign.

The biggest offender was a small cut along one of the tears in the suit jacket, clotted, but the surrounding fabric dyed a deep red-brown, something the younger Elric took note of, but knew wasn't urgent at all.  
The leg he'd been limping on was his real one, not the automail which raised some concerns, but as there was no blood or obvious broken bones, and his brother didn't even flinch when he touched it, Al decided he could leave it be for now. Assured that his older brother was more or less, fine, Alphonse relaxed with a heavy sigh. He was hurt, but it was hardly anything close to either brother's worst injuries.

Looking back to Ed's face, Al found his brother deep in thought, and he shook his head before dragging his chair around to his brother's side. "Okay, so let's start this over….is the victim alright?"

"Hm?" Ed looked up as his brother's words caught up to him, "Oh. Yeah, by the time I gave him the slip and made it back to the crime scene the police were there. Same M.O. as the other victims, wealthy woman." Unconsciously scratching at his right arm, Ed stiffened and bit his lip immediately halting the conversation. After a moment as the pain died down, he continued with a glare to the offending metal and the burnt skin it was attached to. "She had already been taken by ambulance. The police on the scene said that she couldn't talk due to attempted asphyxiation and when I got a good look at the crime scene there was a transmutation circle etched into the ground, get this though- it wasn't drawn on cement, he transmuted a manhole cover into an alchemical circle."

Nodding along, Al replied, "So it's possible he's limited to metals, not minerals. But why transmute a transmutation circle? What type of array was it?"

Ed looked to the other members of the room. "I made sure the police took the manhole cover in as evidence and told them not to leave any transmuted ones out around the city." Taking a folded scrap of paper from his pocket, he made sure the sigil on the inside was covered by his or his brother's hand as they exchanged the note.

Unfolding the paper, Al couldn't help but gasp, "This looks like-"

Cutting him off, Edward gestured briefly to the other occupants of the room, "I think it is. I'm not really sure what it's meant to _do_ , though. It seems like it only affects the metal it's on..."

"We should check a map just in case."

Ed nodded, "I picked one up on the way back, we should reconvene later and go over this more in depth, I have some theories and you should know more of the details, but first and foremost is moving Haruhi, if he's targeting her, her apartment isn't safe anymore."

Haruhi jumped at the mention of her name, "W-what do you mean?"

Alphonse picked up for his older brother, "If he's attacking supposedly wealthy women and you stumbled upon the scene when you were dressed as a girl, whether or not he's targeting you specifically, you are a potential target one way or another."

"Also," Ed began, drawing the attention back to him, "I made some notes about the apartment complex last night, and there are an unusual amount of manhole covers in the area. We shouldn't take any chances if these transmutation circles are crucial to whatever he's doing."

Ranka was called immediately to be informed of the situation, that Haruhi couldn't go home tonight, and that they were deciding on the next course of action. He was also advised to avoid dressing in drag for a while because he too, could end up targeted.

Assuring him he would be notified when they came to a decision on where his daughter was to stay, the call ended and the discussions as to who's house was safest began.  
The problem being: the more extravagant the building, the easier it would be to assume Haruhi was wealthy if the killer happened to be watching.  
Ed tuned out most of it, concentrating on the metal on his arm and trying to assess the damage, but piping up every now and again with a word or two his brother didn't cover.  
Peeking into the shirt from the tear by his collar, a lot of the skin was bright red. Particularly around the metal, some of it was peeling up and he cussed quietly to himself. Thankfully it looked like the various layers of the jacket and undershirts had saved his arm from a 3rd degree burn, as nothing was blackened from what he could see. Under the metal though, was another story.  
It was stuck to his skin, removing it would be a sinch if Al separated it alchemically, but he worried about the full extent of the injury. _Of course it's the arm I just got back._  
After another minute or two of listening in on the discussions, Ed interrupted pointing at his arm, "Hey Al, I'm gonna need your help with this." Conversation halted as their curiosity was peaked, and Edward continued, "Looks like the metal's attached to the skin, so you're gonna have to remove it. Everything around it is burnt but I have no idea the extent of underneath. Just about the only thing I can figure about that is if it was bleeding it's been cauterized."  
Noticing the host club pale and return to the discussion Al decided to move the first aid to the back room, dragging Haruhi with them.

They made sure Haruhi sat far enough away she couldn't see whatever the injury was in detail, but close enough that she was still in their peripherals. As an extra precaution, Alphonse made sure to position himself in her line of sight..  
Luckily for them, Al's new Alkahestry skills came in handy. The burn was absolutely a 3rd degree burn, the skin where the metal settled was charred black and there was a visible indent where it had burned away the flesh, the smell was atrocious and both boys vaguely registered Haruhi's quick movement to cover her nose.  
Thanks to Alphonse, Ed didn't need any special medical treatment and they were able to wrap the injury with a burn creme. It would hurt for a while, but the dead skin was removed, and some of the surrounding dermis thinned to make it a little bit healthier and ensure it would heal. Were Mei here, more could have been done to repair the skin, but Edward insisted it was fine and he was used to healing on his own anyway.

"Are you sure? Mei would be able to minimize scarring as well-"  
Pulling his sleeve up the remaining 4 inches to show off his automail scar, Ed quirked a brow. "You really think minimizing scarring is a priority at this point?" Letting his sleeve go and gently pulling it down over his newly wrapped burn, he continued at a lower volume, "I won't have a hole in my arm thanks to you, that's all I'm worried about right now."

"Okay, then what about your leg?"

"We can worry about it later, I still have to get these metal specks out of my hair yet and clean the cuts. The sooner we get Haruhi indoors the sooner we can take care of the rest."

With a sigh and a nod, Alphonse stood up and followed his brother out of the room, stopping only to let Haruhi pass.

Taking their seats at the table, not much had passed in their absence, but it had been narrowed down to three locations. The school itself- which was immediately passed over due to an intense lack of security, Tamaki's house- which the blond insisted had _nothing_ at all to do with his cousins, and Kyoya's house- the police force and various resorts providing extra protection.

The pros and cons of each were thrown about, Tamaki's status as president of the host club giving reasoning for any of the host club members to be present, and Kyoya's many locations allowing her to be moved at any time deemed necessary.

It was Tamaki's abode that won out in the end; nobody was convinced that the Ootori police force would let the Elrics work in peace. However it was set as a plan b, and both the Ootori and Suoh estates were informed of the situation.

"There's one thing I don't understand," Kyoya announced, stopping the occupants in the room from getting any closer to the door, "I thought you two were alchemists, but Alphonse said you couldn't do alchemy anymore. Is this true?"

Edward shrugged, "Yeah, but that's all I can say." At the collective confused murmuring, the older Elric let out a whistle to get the group's attention, "It's classified information, so keep it to yourself."

"But Edo-chan!" Honey exclaimed, completely ignoring the face Ed made at the name, "Why do you call yourself an alchemist if you can't do it anymore? Wouldn't that make you not an alchemist?"

With a sigh, Ed looked at his brother who held his hands up in the universal sign of -do not involve me in this- and he rolled his eyes, "Because I still _am_ an alchemist. Alchemy is more than just activating a transmutation circle, it involves years of study and memorization." Ed paused deliberating if he should add any more, before shrugging and shoving his hands in his pockets, "There isn't really a word in our language for someone like me, and saying ex-alchemist requires an explanation I shouldn't be giving out."  
Alphonse nodded in approval and chimed in, "Also you have to keep in mind if Ed called himself an ex-alchemist, people would question his reason for being here." Giving a shrug himself, Al grinned, "I can't imagine how hard it would have been to get the case files if an underage non-alchemist came in lieu of someone with better paper qualifications."

Ed sent his brother a weak glare, "Wanna run that by me again, Al?"

"Whaat?" Ignoring his brother's expression, Alphonse walked forward and yanked the door open, holding it for the party and looked to Ed with his most innocent face, "Underage who? You're 19 brother, you must've misheard me."

"Misheard my ass, nice save."

Taking the limo provided by the Suoh's, the small group of four discussed rules and precautions in the vehicle.  
For the current night, none of the other host club members were allowed at Tamaki's- for the simple reason that Edward needed the night to recuperate and it wasn't fair to leave Alphonse alone to guard the entire lot of students. For once, nobody argued with this, and the friends wished each other an uneventful night.

Tamaki had mentioned the basic floor plan, how many and what rooms were available; and the Elrics planned to quarter up in Tamaki's room, as any intruder would expect guests in the guest room, and it seemed to be further from the stairs than many of the other options.  
Haruhi however, had a bit of a problem with the next topic: "What do you mean I _can't_ wear my pajamas to bed?!"

"You're stuck as a boy until you're out of Tamaki's house." Ed blunted.

"The latest victim confirms he's targeting wealthy women," Alphonse picked up, "Just by being at Tamaki's, as a girl, you're by definition a 'wealthy woman' which puts you at higher risk by association."

"Why move her to any of our houses, then?" Tamaki questioned. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and they knew why Haruhi's apartment was unsafe. "Why not just rent a place?"

Ed groaned, "Because if this guy's working with other people there are too many wildcards." Sliding down the seat and out of the top half of his seatbelt he continued, "You also can't tell your father who's house you're at in case the phone lines are tapped."

"He's gonna be worried sick!"

Al covered his brothers mouth as Ed let out a very exasperated groan, which wasn't as muffled as he'd hoped, though Ed didn't seem too triumphant to have been heard.

"Haruhi, take a deep breath," Alphonse began, "We know you're worried. We'll call your dad from school tomorrow and let him know what's going on and what precautions we're taking, but you don't want him to worry about how he could put you in danger by knowing your location, do you?"

At Haruhi's hesitant nod, Al continued, this time addressing both Haruhi and Tamaki, "It's okay to be scared, and we know what we're doing. The fact that Ed came back with minor injuries should prove that, right?"

Again, hesitation, but both teenagers nodded, nonetheless.

"Tamaki, can Ed use your shower?"

"What? Uh, yes, of course, I'll show you where it is when we get there."

Peeking out from under his arm, Ed looked over at the other three in the car, "You're gonna have to make me some bandages, Al. You got any antibiotics at your place?"

Nodding, Tamaki replied, "Yeah, anything you might need is in the medicine cabinet, including bandage rolls and medical tape." At Ed's quirked brow, the blonde continued, "It's a large cabinet."

Taking his cousin's word, Edward shrugged and pushed himself upright in the seat with a slight wince, "Alright, nevermind that then, Al."

"Neither of you are to leave my sight while Ed's out of the room, understand?" Al quickly picked up, "I don't care if you want a drink of water or you have to pee, it's either done before Ed leaves to clean up, or after he gets back."

Ignoring the startled look on the other occupants of the vehicle, Ed nodded and elaborated, "You should be Haruhi's guard Al, we can continue what we've been doing with me on night patrol-."

"No way, brother. Not when you're hurt."

Shooting his sibling a side glance, Ed mimicked him, " _Yes_ way, brother. I know what the guy looks like so if he's stalking around the neighborhood I'll be able to spot him faster than you."

"And do _what_ , exactly? Endanger yourself because of your leg?"

Ed hesitated for a moment, responding with a glance out the window, "Make sure he didn't follow us."

The silence hung in the air for a short time as both brothers thought about what to do for the course of the night, but it was Ed who broke it with a sigh, "I'll go out after I'm cleaned up, take note of some things in the neighborhood and then come back in an hour or two. If there's anything suspicious we both stay up, if it checks out, you're on night duty, alright?"

Taking a moment to think about it, Alphonse nodded, but before he could say anything, Ed's finger was in his face, "But _you're_ on Haruhi duty regardless." Al blinked as his brother put his arm down, "I'll keep an eye on Tamaki. This means _you_ two," Ed gestured to the duo in question, making them jump at the older brother's commanding tone of voice, "Are not to leave _either_ of our sides for even a second until we get our bearings. This means tonight, at school tomorrow, and any time in between. You do not sneak away, you do not second guess our orders, you do not pester us with hundreds of questions on why we tell you to do something, understand?"

Before waiting for either teen to nod, Alphonse himself nodded and added one last thing, "No doing anything stupid, okay? If you need something, just ask. We'll figure it out."

Haruhi and Tamaki shared a look and nodded, but both jumped out of their seats as the driver loudly knocked on the separation window declaring they'd be arriving in a couple minutes which made Ed snort and Al chuckle.

Arrival at the Estate was very efficient, they were ushered inside, where they met with various house-keepers and attendants, who took the necessary belongings such as jackets and bags from them to shuffle away to whatever corner they would be stashed in, and were left in the giant foyer that made way to two massive stairwells.

All traces of exhaustion left Ed as both he and his brother marvelled at the size of the place, speaking quickly and quietly in Amestrian about the space

"He wasn't joking about the foyer..."

"This is larger than the _Fuhrer's house_!"

"How big is this place if this is the first room?"

"How much are the taxes on the kitchen alone?"

"If this is the second estate how big is the first?"

"Why do they _have_ a second estate?"

Following Tamaki upstairs to his room, the boys kept muttering and commenting on the...excessiveness of the place, and Tamaki didn't seem to miss their reaction at all, "So?" He asked as he pushed the door to his room open, "What do you all think?"

The room was larger than either brother expected, one wall was lined with portraits of the Host Club, there was a small table with chairs before the massive bed and large windows that stretched along the wall to the spacious walk-in closet lining the other wall.

Ed was the first to speak, seemingly dazed by the sheer size of the dwelling they were in, "What do you _do_ with all this space?"

Tamaki, confused by the statement, responded in kind, "Um...do?"

Al shook himself, the idea of a mansion of this size wasn't unheard of in Amestris, they'd certainly frequented a few, but neither brother expected by 'estate' the Suoh's had meant anything of _this_ size. "We've only come across a...handful...of mansions this large, Tamaki. We grew up in a decent sized farmhouse, but-"

"Our entire house and our neighbors house could fit in your foyer and kitchen." _Not to mention we were never_ _ **related**_ _to anyone with this kind of wealth._ Ed added internally.

"Yes, that."

"Oh, um...well we don't really _use_ it, per se. It's...living space…"

"Living space?" Haruhi asked,

"Yeah, ya'know like elbow room. You should see the place around the holidays." The tall blonde added with a smile.

Inspecting the closet, Ed retorted, "Tamaki, you have enough 'elbow room' in here for a dozen horses and they're 3 times your size." Continuing to play with the door, he turned around, "Like, do you throw parties or something? What do you need all this space for?"

Blinking in response, Tamaki questioned, "Need?" He paused as the question hung in the air, "I mean, yeah Father throws parties, occasionally, but they're usually at the main estate."

Furrowing his brow, Ed peeked his head out of the massive closet, "So who lives here with you, then?"

Tamaki's hesitation was so quick the Elrics almost missed it, "The...staff. Shima is really great, she makes sure I get up on time and practise what I need to and everything." His demeanor brighted almost instantly as he continued, "Oh and Antoinette!"

"Antoinette?" Al asked,

"My dog! Oh she must be outside, she's a golden retriever and she's really friendly!"

Ed's entire demeanor darkened at that and he frowned, "Nobody else?"

Tamaki shook his head, and Haruhi leaned over to Alphonse and whispered, "Does he not like dogs?"

Al shook his head, "No, er...well kinda, but that's not why-"

"Can I take a shower now? We should probably stop goofing off."

Surprised by the abrupt change Tamaki cleared his throat, "Ah, right."

After giving Edward the directions and asking a maid to bring him a fresh towel and some spare clothes, Tamaki turned to Haruhi and Alphonse completely confused about the 180 in his cousin, "Did I say something wrong?"

Al shook his head. "No, _you_ didn't."

When Ed returned from the shower all bandaged, Al helped remove the rest of the metal he couldn't pull off himself, mostly in his hair, and checked out Ed's leg, which seemed to simply be sore from whatever impact it took. Al promised if it still ached in the morning he would see what he could do. Neither brother really wanted to use Alkahestry on something so minimal, but given the chance that the murderer could be targeting both Ed _and_ Haruhi, they didn't want to worry about Ed's leg giving out in a fight or if he needed to run.

Pulling his hair back in a high ponytail and stuffing it in an extremely fancy baseball cap, Ed set out on patrol.

Which luckily, turned out to be pretty lackluster, outside of the dog barking at him as he inspected the gigantic yard and then whatever street property was within walking distance, he returned to the manor having spotted no other people on the street at all. There were no manhole covers in the immediate area thanks to the large property, and the walk on softer substrate did more than he expected for his injured leg.

Nonetheless, Ed was still in a foul mood when he returned, and the brothers laid awake reviewing information until there was nothing else worth going over, after which they sat comfortably in silence. Haruhi and Tamaki had fallen asleep in separate corners of the floor nearby, and Antoinette- the boys decided would be an excellent help in their guarding duties- curled up at Tamaki's feet.

"Brother?"

"Hm."

"Did you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Doesn't mean it's not upsetting you."

Ed quieted, and Al thought that was it, that the conversation was over, but he heard his brother shift and looking over he was now facing him.

"I told you there was something off about the old man."

"Yeah, you did."

"For someone offering all these extravagant things to his sister's kids, he can't even be bothered to live with his own?"

"...To be fair he never fake promised to take care of us."

"Or to take us in, just to give us a bunch of things; yeah."

"That must've been awful, growing up alone in this big house. Do you think his staff is like his family?"

"You're really calling this a house? And I dunno, maybe. He didn't seem to really be too ecstatic about them when he was talking about it." There was a pause before Ed continued, "He's a lot like us, you know."

Al snorted, "Yeah? Finally admitting we're related?"

"Not like _that_." Edward frowned at his brother. "He mentioned the other day he grew up with his mom, and he ended up here when she got sick."

"Oh."

"Yeah…he was older than us when he came to Japan though."

"That's...good." Al paused, "Is she still alive?"

"Supposedly." Alphonse quirked an eyebrow and his older brother continued, "He's not allowed to see her, I guess."

"What? Why not?"

"Dunno, didn't ask."

"Ed!"

"Al, I wasn't gonna bring it up on the street. That's the _last_ place _I'd_ want to talk about it."

Ignoring the chance to jab at his brother's surprisingly well placed tact, Alphonse let the conversation lull into another bought of silence.

"So he's got a not great father and a sick mom he can't see again." Al reaffirmed.

"Yup."

"Mmm."

"Mmm?" Ed repeated, "What's mmm?"

"What part got you angry earlier?"

Another pause.  
"...The fact his old man's still around and does jack shit for his kid."

"He's providing shelter."

"That he has to stay in _alone_. At least _we_ had each other, we had Winry and Granny and Den." Edward paused, "He had the fucking nerve to give us a talk on how much he could've done for us, while providing...what exactly for his own son? I mean have you seen them interact even once since we were introduced?"

"No, and that wasn't exactly a family interaction either."

"I dunno, I don't get it."

"Don't get what?"

"...Why he doesn't seem to be mad at him."

Al shook his head with a faint smile, "Maybe because he's not you."

"Hey!" Ed snickered as he threw a hand over and slapped his brother in the face, earning a muffled cry, "Hear me out!"

Exaggeratedly rubbing his nose, Al snorted, "Fine, jerk."

"I didn't hit you that hard."

"Is that what you wanted me to hear?"

"I-no...I.." Ed sighed, rolling back over to face his brother, all signs of mirth gone, "All the anger I had at Hoenheim, and the things that were keeping him away were preventing our deaths and literally dying. I have my gripes about why he couldn't have left us a fucking letter, but...ya'know he had his reasons, and I can't say they weren't valid ones." He paused, rolling back onto his back, "But this?" He mentioned, throwing a hand towards the ceiling for emphasis, "His old man's right _there_. He could see his kid every day and who does he call to his office to speak with? To talk to and offer to spend time with?"

Alphonse sighed, his mind jumped to that as well, "Yeah, I agree with you there, brother." Al paused a breath, "I wonder if maybe this is a cultural thing?"

"Could be. A lot of things are different here." Ed frowned, "Not that I have to like it."

"Mmm."

The two sat in silence absorbing the situation and understanding their cousin's weird behaviour and over excited mannerisms just a little bit better.

"Ed?"

"Hm?"

"I think that's the nicest thing I've ever heard you say about dad."

"Don't get used to it."

Al couldn't help the chuckle that left him at his brother's bluntness, "Ya'know, you still didn't tell me about how you proposed to Winry."

"I-It's getting late, Al, I should really get to sleep." Turning his back to his little brother, Ed faked a yawn, "Didn't sleep last night and all."

"If you can stay up mad, you can stay up and tell me what happened." Hearing no response from his brother, Alphonse tried again, "Oh c'mon I can see you blushing from over here, what'd you do, trip and drop the ring?"

There was a pause and an almost inaudible mumble that Alphonse just barely registered as words, "I can't hear you, brother, what?"

With a slight whine, Ed repeated himself, "There…kinda.. _wasn't_ …aring..?"

"WHAT?! Edward!"

"Shhh! They're sleeping!"

"Oh my god."

"Shut up."

"Oh my god. My brother, the state alchemist, hero of the people, didn't get his fiance a ring."

"I didn't say I didn't get her one, I said I didn't propose with one!"

"Oh my _god_." Alphonse couldn't stop himself from laughing as he thought about how much more of a disaster that must've been. That's his brother alright.

"Shut up!" Ed whisper-shouted as he sat up, "Stop laughing! Or you're not _gonna_ hear the rest of it!"

"Alright, alright, okay." Al let out a snort and a couple giggles, "Okay, I'm done. What else did you screw up?"

* * *

 **ANs**

Whew, no idea how many chapters are left because fleshing this out seems to be taking this from one final chapter to like, 3. I wanna say one more and then a (potential) epilogue. Idk I'm making this up as I go along.

Also I'm down for doing oneshots off of this story/bonus chapters if anyone's interested in reading any, feel free to suggest some things, if I really like an idea I might write something!

A couple ideas I've been playing with that probably won't be in the story because it really isn't relevant:

+Elrics meet Grandmother Suoh during the stay and Ed is just _the worst_ to her.

+Ling happens to call Ed on his cell phone during one of the Host Club meetings and is in general being a pest/Ed's bff and confusing everybody else in the room as he do.

+Post-both series and this story, visits (either to Japan again or to Amestris, probably with Winry because I do love that child).

+A prequel of sorts involving wrangling the Elrics into this mission, or perhaps the first meeting with the host club.

+idk are people enjoying the Edwin I throw in here? It's small and here and there but I can do some stuff with that I'm sure.

+Scenes from the perspective of the other other hosts, a la the end of chapter one.

+Scenes with more of the other other hosts (9 people in one scene is a doozy to figure out, I tell ya)

+Some other Ouran/FMA cross that takes place in a different time/different storyline.

+Suggest stuff.

Anyway, please review? Gets me motivated to write when I know what works and what doesn't and what ya'll like. Happy New Year!


	7. Authors Note: Dont Worry

Prefacing this with: dont worry this story will continue! Because I sometimes associate authors notes with bad news. It's not great news because its hiatus time but the last (I'm guessing 2) chapters are pretty much written, they just need to be fully fleshed out and revised. All the hard work is done.

Anyway, new chapter was actually supposed to be posted in May for 503 now that I know about it. That was the plan.

Well a lot has happened since then, and its pushed this story onto hiatus until maybe August. The lot includes but is not limited to: health issues, financial issues, new job, busy, and the most important one concerning writing: my main laptop absolutely dying. Like it wont turn on and I'm not paying to fix it just for it to break again since it was chugging pretty hard before it decided it's time had come.

The laptop I'm looking at is expensive and is gonna be a couple months paycheck, but as I learned through the years, it's better to pay once for something good than pay 50 times to fix something cheap and terrible. It adds up and in my experience often outweighs the price of the expensive thing so I'm just buying one good laptop that'll last. Once I have that itll be smooth sailing and back to updates. I want to finish this and write more!

BUT! Good news is that the chapter (since it was supposed to be posted early may) is like 90% done. The end of it needs some fleshing out and theres one spot that is just skeleton framework but it shouldn't take too long to finish up once I get a device to work steadily on and a bit of free time.

And before anyone says anything, I refuse to write on my phone because I end up making very stupid mistakes and revising is much harder for me because I miss things (and dont get me started on formatting eugh), Itll be more coherent if I work on a computer based system or at the least a tablet with a keyboard if I can get my hands on one before August.

TL:DR;

Laptop broke, no computer, writing cant happen.

August can buy NEW laptop. Then we as gucci as an Ouran student's bag collection.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me; reviews are wonderful and feed my little pained soul, and I promise we'll get this wrapped up as soon as I'm able. Thanks for sticking with me and I'll leave you with these few lines from the current draft.

Enjoy the contextless snippet!

* * *

"I'm telling you guys, a prom is an American tradition!" Hikaru insisted, Al dropped his head into his hands and let himself fall into the love seat as the argument he was trying to prevent started up yet again.

Ignoring the strange stares and astonished faces and murmurs he got from the crowd, Ed pushed his way to his brother's side and quirked a brow, "Why are we talking about American traditions?"

"Tama-chan asked what a prom was!" Hunny replied from behind the strawberry cheesecake he was seated at. Tamaki seemed to have stiffened at the seemingly innocent exclamation, which confused Ed.

All eyes seemingly turned towards the Elrics, and Ed looked around confused, "So?" At everyone's lack of response, he looked at his brother who was now watching the hosts, and then looked back at the club members, "What is it, then?"

"You don't know?" Haruhi asked, sharing a look with Tamaki

"Do I _look_ American?"


End file.
